Quotes, Sundry and Obscure


 
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 [1312] #geek
<fuz> oh dear, Github is still unwell
<janus> fuz: it's Microsoft now. They need to crash often to keep up to expectations.
     #atbot, 2018-11-02
 
 
 [1311] #geek
<ttkp> you could replace slurp() 's body with die("why did slurp die? https://metacpan.org/source/CAPOEIRAB/File-Slurp-9999.24/README.damn_you")
<Grinnz> why, why, did my File::Slurp die
<buu> ttkp: why isn't that a valid url =[
<ttkp> buu - because there is no file called README.damn_you in the File::Slurp distribution, and File::Slurp 9999.24 is a hypothetical version
<ttkp> <pedantic>it's a valid url, but there is nothing at that location</pedantic>
* genio opens his editor
<pink_mist> I'm glad ttkp pedanted there, or I would have had an itch to do it myself
<genio> https://gist.github.com/genio/ea26e6e08b78c7e0d20ce18e930cacb4
<genio> coming soon to a metacpan near you
     #perl, 2018-10-29
 
 
 [1310] #geek
<jadax> is perl regex any different then other languages regex?
<Grinnz> yes, only perl can evaluate perl regex
<jadax> I thought there was only one regex that everybody used
<Grinnz> nope
<jadax> so there is no standard for regex stuff out there?
<ttkp> there are standards, yes
<Grinnz> not just one, though :P
<ttkp> https://xkcd.com/927/
     #perl, 2018-10-11
 
 
 [1309] #geek
<mst> people called DBIC a 'hostile fork' for years in spite of the fact that the CDBI maintainer had actively encouraged me to do so
     #perl, 2018-10-11
 
 
 [1308] #geek
<ttkp> Web scale == many mysterious frighteningly fragile far-flung SPOFs
<mst> ttkp: if it's web scale they're called Single Points of Failover
<Botje> Web scale = "We traded away one of C-A-P, but we're not telling you which until it's too late"
<ChoHag> Schroedingers C-A-P.
<ChoHag> You don't know which one it is until you open the box.
     #perl, 2018-09-21
 
 
 [1304] #geek
<zikzak> don't do iptables -F
<dwangoAC> I'm not sure what -F means other than -F things up
     #nblug, 2018-08-14
 
 
 [1303] #geek
<Grinnz> you're spending more effort looking for such a module than you would to implement it
<LeoNerd> But if I always just wrote code I'd entirely re-implement all of CPAN on my own
<ttkp> it's good to make an effort to find someone else's existing wheel
<ttkp> even if half the time one ends up modifying it or writing one from scratch anyway
<Grinnz> some wheels are gouda, some wheels are bad axe
     #perl, 2018-07-03
 
 
 [1302] #geek
* shaldannon notes that there's a fellow named Rich Kulawiec (sp?) who refers to IOT as "the world's largest dumpster fire"
<Grinnz> shaldannon: that's patently false. we have email>
     #perl, 2018-06-20
 
 
 [1300] #geek
<thrig> `java -version` taking 6 seconds to respond reminds me why I never get anywhere with java-based things
     #perl, 2018-05-24
 
 
 [1295] #geek
<ncow> Is there actually difference between ``Class->$cref($arg);`` and ``$cref->('Class', $arg)`` ?
<ncow> I see in both cases first argument when calling $cref is 'Class' followed by $arg.
<ncow> Is there any time when these two forms may produce different results?
<fetr> ncow - yes, the latter form might result in coworkers punching you in the face
     #perl, 2018-04-25
 
 
 [1293] #geek
<fuz> "A very sophisticated observer may be able to deduce much of the packet format, but it is not trivial to do so"
<fuz> oh, well, if it's only the SOPHISTICATED ones, that's fine then
<fuz> thank heaven the Bay Area doesn't have any people who reverse-engineer protocols on their weekends and have questionable judgement and/or questionable morals
     #atbot, 2018-04-10
 
 
 [1287] #geek
<xenu> as you can see, most of perl world moved past mod_perl and because of that mod_perl knowledge is rare
<gordonfish> There is #modperl on irc.perl.org
<xenu> 21:51 [perl] -!- #modperl 7
<xenu> with 7 users :D
<gordonfish> Yeah, not exactly a massive channel, but it's there
<El_Che> xenu: don't laugh. They are battle tested hard core bad asses
<thrig> #sendmail has five times that number!
<Grendel> ##programming has 736 .. it must be 105x better than #modperl!
     #perl, 2017-12-04
 
 
 [1284] #geek
<fuz> zookeeper is my favorite distributed single point of failure
     #atbot, 2017-10-24
 
 
 [1283] #geek
<simcop2387> it's also amusing to me that Perl is still the best langauge for working with klingon text.
     #perl, 2017-10-11
 
 
 [1277] #geek
<roofy> do i have to reboot after editing my xorg.conf
<roofy> or can i just run x
<ttks> you can just run X, yeah
<ttks> almost nothing requires a reboot, aside from kernel updates and (recommended but not -strictly- necessary) glibc updates
<phaeton> Or anything you do in Ubuntu
<ttks> but this is ##slackware :-)
<phaeton> THANK DOG
     ##slackware, 2017-08-10
 
 
 [1274] #geek
<qq> we have some kafka clusters that are distributed points of failure, if any node in the cluster fails, the whole cluster goes down.
     #atbot, 2017-08-08
 
 
 [1272] #geek
<TechPriest> lol at "data lake"
<TechPriest> "we haven't done anything with the data"
<TechPriest> "there are 2 options"
<TechPriest> "1. we do something with the data"
<TechPriest> "2. we invent a tech buzzword for not doing anything with the data and claim innovator status"
<rtsoptihs> techpriest: but the data from the cloud rains down into the lake
<rtsoptihs> then the stream processing happens and the truck captures all the salmon to take them to the data warehouse
<rtsoptihs> I was trying to figure out how to work snowmobile in but I got lazy
     #sv2600, 2017-07-27
 
 
 [1271] #geek
<ttk> aux - what's "sbt"?
<aux> ttk: Scala Build Tools, or so I have been told.
<hawks> scala ball torture
<hawks> every time you fuck up an overloaded operator, it closes the vice .01cm
<hawks> you may say "oh it'll take me a long time to kill my balls" but you would be wrong
     #sv2600, 2017-07-19
 
 
 [1269] #geek
<Grinnz> DCC is horrible
<xenu> what, is it 1999 again?
<sibiria> what do you mean, again? 1999 never stopped
<mauke> 19117
     #perl, 2017-07-14
 
 
 [1268] #geek
<ningu> old functions never die, they just return undef
     #perl, 2017-06-27
 
 
 [1267] #geek
<sls> The advantage of being able to make changes to 50% of your fleet in under 30 seconds is that the cascading failures are spectacular.
     #atbot, 2017-06-15
 
 
 [1265] #geek
<ttk> whee, re-attached my #python screen to find them giving each other bad advice on version string formats
<gage> semver semver semver
<gage> isn't this a solved problem
<ttk> it is, yes
<ttk> but this is #python
     #atbot, 2017-06-01
 
 
 [1264] #geek
<mauke> deparse: $_ = pack "H*", "cea6ce93ce94";
<perlbot> mauke: ( $_ = "\316\246\316\223\316\224" );
<mauke> nice, it's constant folded
<ningu> fun fact, you can't fold constants more than 7 times
     #perl, 2017-05-30
 
 
 [1263] #geek
<ChoHag> I'm not sure if I should have made this thing, but I did.
     #perl, 2017-05-09
 
 
 [1261] #geek
<aux> I feel that Xorg stuff is so bad that I don't really have something to recommend to someone anymore.
<robp> Windows loves you!
<robp> Windows will always accept wayward sheep who have strayed from their path
<ttk> .. so it can fleece you and chop you up into the stewpot
<robp> COMMON MISCONCEPTION ttk
<robp> it's more of a cauldron
     #sv2600, 2017-05-01
 
 
 [1260] #geek
<thrig> MIME::Lite is horrible and old, use something else
<j2daosh> horrible and old? when did this happen?
<j2daosh> i have been using it for years without an issue
<zyffer> that makes it old
     #perl, 2017-04-05, demonstrating CADT model
 
 
 [1259] #geek
<haarg> the important thing to note is that the numeric value of $] on 5.6.2 is not the same as the 5.006002
<mst> the important thing is to find a way to feel superior to both
     #perl, 2017-04-03
 
 
 [1258] #geek
<simcop2387> You can't use ${^GLOBAL_PHASE} portably?
<Grinnz> nope
<Grinnz> well, "yep", once everyone stops using perls before 5.14 :P
<ttkp> Grinnz - so, once everyone phases out their RHEL6 systems .. not holding my breath :-)
<Grinnz> good idea, it's hard to hold breath for 15 years
     #perl, 2017-03-21
 
 
 [1257] #geek
<TechPriest> i use linux
<hox> we already all know youre a virgin
<TechPriest> i didn't say openbsd
     #sv2600, 2017-03-16
 
 
 [1255] #geek
<freeside> sysadmins don't get no respect.
<ChoHag> We don't need it.
<ChoHag> We have root.
     #perl, 2017-03-14
 
 
 [1254] #geek
A picture is worth ten thousand words -- but only those to describe the picture.
Hardly any sets of ten thousand words can be adequately described with pictures.
     UNIX fortune cookie
 
 
 [1252] #geek
<anno> in the wheel factory engineers outnumber workers
     #perl, 2017-01-26
 
 
 [1251] #geek
<aphone> <beefy> on that note, i read that the number of people announcing the death of moore's law doubles every 18 months
     #atbot, 2017-01-13
 
 
 [1250] #geek
<Chu> So. Uh. This energy syphon thing, it'll STOP, right?
<Robo> Either yes or we're about to find out what a Schwarzchild radius looks like.
<Chu> That's one of those HORRIBLE astrophysical limits where reality breaks down, isn't it?
<Robo> Hey, can this thing go any faster?
     http://www.atomic-robo.com/atomicrobo/v11ch5-page-19
 
 
 [1249] #geek
<roens> YAY! I've finally figured out the magic (181-char) nmcli command!
<ttk> O_o
<gage> good lord
<gage> 75 more characters and some shells wouldn't even let you execute it
     #atbot, 2017-01-03
 
 
 [1248] #geek
<ningu> one time I called someone the second derivative of velocity (jerk) and they said ooh, third derivative of velocity (snap)
     #perl, 2016-12-29
 
 
 [1247] #geek
<xenu> software developers get the same experience with linkedin as beautiful women get with dating websites
<noah> I dunno, do you get "well fuck you, you're incompetent anyway" when you turn down recruiter solicitations?
     #perl, 2016-12-29
 
 
 [1245] #geek
<noah> hahah.  the x86 has more pages of documentation than the 6502 has transistors
     #atbot, 2016-12-09
 
 
 [1244] #geek
I don't understand why all of your technology seems to be implemented by
highschool students with less engineering acumen than your average turtle, but
at this point I doubt anything you do will surprise me.
     (anon)
 
 
 [1242] #geek
<gage> > The S in IoT stands for Security.
     #atbot, 2016-11-15
 
 
 [1241] #geek
<chansen_> xenu: You are making a huge fool of yourself!
<simcop2387> oh great, is this politics again?
<xenu> unix signals
<xenu> political discussions are less heated
     #perl, 2016-11-10
 
 
 [1240] #geek
<gage> [2:07 PM] Naughty Developer: btw, are the haproxy config change versioned?
<gage> [2:07 PM] Jeff Gage: yes
<gage> [2:07 PM] Naughty Developer: oh?
<gage> [2:08 PM] Naughty Developer: i actually made a change on prod the other day, i guess that didn't get captured in whatever version control we have
<gage> "whatever version control"
<dr.pox> hahahahahahahaha
<gage> devops: ops works like developers, developers still act like helpless babies
     #atbot, 2016-11-04
 
 
 [1238] #geek
<phone> i could tell you a lot about dealing with crashing x86 systems, but then i'd have to hire you
     #atbot, 2016-10-18
 
 
 [1237] #geek
<thrig> oh boy XS
<ttkp> we got Inline::C these days .. it's much nicer to work with
<tm604> Inline::C is not so nice from the ops point of view
<ttkp> how so, tm604?
<tm604> with XS you compile when you build+install, with Inline::C it'll recompile when you run the code
<tm604> so you end up deploying something that may work differently from the dev version. there's also the pleasant surprise when you realise there's no C compiler on the production system.
<ttkp> how does that happen?  if you're using RPM, I'd expect it would either note the dependencies (including the compiler) or just include the precompiled executable
<ttkp> and if you're installing via cpan, you have to run the tests to install the module, which runs the code
<tm604> you usually end up with the build files not being listed in MANIFEST/carton output path/anywhere useful
<tm604> so although things seem to work fine on the build server, it takes more work to make sure all the bits are transferred to the deployment target.
<ttkp> you're describing an interesting release process .. what OS are you using, there?
<tm604> Linux (debian/ubuntu/alpine based)
<tm604> but that's a pretty standard approach with carton - build everything, commit to repo, deploy that repo to target.
<ttkp> most places I've worked, you make sure you have well-working RPMs for all of your dependencies
<tm604> most places I've worked at, I'd leave if they mentioned RPM outside the context of "we're buying you a shiny new bike"
<ttkp> hahaha
 
[Summary:  tm604 says Inline::C causes operational problems, but uses an insane deployment strategy which of course would cause problems (and not just with Inline::C).  Suggesting that a more industry-standard best-practices approach would avoid those problems prompted mockery for such backward ideas :-) Some things you just have to laugh off]
 
     #perl, 2016-10-10
 
 
 [1235] #geek
<tm604> I have no idea what "clear" means, I'm a C++ programmer.
     #perl, 2016-09-15
 
 
 [1233] #geek
<Urchlay> nothing says 'I am not a professional' in quite the same way as a DJ using a laptop, and it's playing the windows desktop noises through his 2000 watts of speakers
<Urchlay> it's the audio equivalent of seeing a windows BSOD on a giant sign or a flight display at the airport
     ##slackware, 2016-08-30
 
 
 [1232] #geek
<rob0> Slackware voted to Remain in the EUdev
     ##slackware, 2016-08-22
 
 
 [1231] #geek
<xenu> just came up with a simple way to split the path:
<xenu> my $path = "foo.bar.dupa"; $/="."; open my($fh), "+>", \my($z); print {$fh} $path, "\n"; seek $fh, 0, 0; while (<$fh>) { chomp; say }
<Grinnz_> "simple"
     #perl, 2016-08-22
 
 
 [1230] #geek
<wgreenhouse> the saying in #emacs is that "hell is another person's ~/.emacs"
     ##slackware, 2016-08-11
 
 
 [1227] #geek
<qq> basically nobody has anything bad to say about sonic.net
<ttk> toss "Sonic's infrastructure is written in perl" into the middle of the room and watch the world turn on us like an enraged beast ;-)
<phone> mmm, perl
<moof> mmm, perl.
<ttk> mmm perl
     #atbot, 2016-07-22
 
 
 [1225] #geek
<sls> I'm not a fan of nougat either.
<sls> What is Android going to do when they run out of letters?
<noah> there's always unicode
<noah> Android [pile of poop]
     #atbot, 2016-06-30
 
 
 [1224] #geek
<Su-Shee> ooooh my boyfriend made me a patch for xterm for the iso unicode input support!!!
<ttkai> he's a keeper!
<llua> bowchicawowow
     #perl, 2016-06-28
 
 
 [1220] #geek
<phone> i like 2016.
<phone> i just used the phrase "only 4.1B transitors"
     #atbot, 2016-06-09
 
 
 [1219] #geek
<hawks> instead of rock paper scissors we should have crypto lawyer feds
<hawks> crypto beats lawyers, lawyers beat feds, and feds beat you with a rubber hose
     #sv2600, 2016-04-06
 
 
 [1216] #geek
<wolfsburg18> Any recommendation for average and mean functions, seems there are several packages which provide similar functions
<ether> List::Util is in core and has some arithmetic functions.
<LeoNerd> ( sum @_ ) / scalar @_ for the arithmetic mean
<LeoNerd> 1 / sum map { 1/$_ } @_  for the harmonic mean
<LeoNerd> ( product @_ ) ** ( 1 / @_ )  for the geometric mean
<LeoNerd> ( nsort @_ )[@_/2]  for the median
     #perl, 2016-03-22
 
 
 [1213] #geek
<midi> We discovered this week that if you recite the Atlassian deployment guide in reverse, you summon the
<midi> goat-demon Azazael.  But it gets worse!  If you recite it forwards you install JIRA.
     #bitmines, 2016-02-23
 
 
 [1212] #geek
<fuz> ttk, I find your source control terrifying.
     #atbot, 2016-02-22
 
 
 [1210] #geek
A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer
you didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable.
     Leslie Lamport, May 28 1987 http://research.microsoft.com/en-us/um/people/lamport/pubs/distributed-system.txt
 
 
 [1208] #geek
Computers that do useful work are so 20th century - we've moved on.
     GNOME developer
 
 
 [1207] #geek
<mishehu> "UEFI" is the shortened version...  the full version is "yoU EFIng son of a b mother EFIng crap, work already!"
     ##slackware, 2015-12-02
 
 
 [1206] #geek
<Urchlay> I propose that "puke of XML" be made the official plural for XML.
<Urchlay> Like "herd of cattle", "school of fish",  "murder of crows"
     ##slackware, 2015-10-26
 
 
 [1203] #geek
<Stopher> oh man, i just did a JSON.stringify() on something and stashed it somewhere i knew an error message will complain.
<Stopher> and it *worked*; the error message printed out that object
<Stopher> it's a shitty way, but now i can get some feedback on the inner workings of this docusign system
     #chat, 2015-09-10
 
 
 [1200] #geek
<SlackGNU> I like penguins as much as the next guy, but they can hardly work without a gnu.
<wgreenhouse> SlackGNU: in a conversation about the Linux netfilter vs. BSD pf, they really do mean "Linux" and not "GNU/Linux", as netfilter is a kernel feature
<wgreenhouse> just so you aren't incorrectly pedantic
<goarilla> :D
<ttkp> :-D
<SlackGNU> wgreenhouse: I stand corrected.
     ##slackware, 2015-08-14
 
 
 [1199] #geek
<no_9> this kid was trying to sell me a phone w/o a sdcard slot last time and said 'you just use the cloud for that stuff!'
<no_9> i asked him what i was going to do on a cloudless day
<no_9> he gave me this look like "grandpa youre SO far behind the curve"
     ##slackware, 2015-08-11
 
 
 [1198] #geek
<Stopher> i think i just wrote a reasonably generalized threaded shell-out-style object for C#
<Stopher> you create the object with the path to the exe you want to run and any arguments you'd like to pass that exe, and the constructor creates a 'process' for it, sets it up, and creates a thread for executing that processes
<Stopher> my object also has members for getting STDOUT and STDERR, and can ask if the process has exited yet
     #chat, 2015-08-11
 
 
 [1196] #geek
<sonic> agile development doesn't mean build, then design!
     #atbot, 2015-07-24
 
 
 [1195] #geek
* ttk vaguely remembers talk about a line of succession having been set up, after Volkerding survived that life-threatening infection some years back
<Urchlay> yeah, there's a designated heir to the Iron Throne of Slackeros
     ##slackware, 2015-07-22
 
 
 [1194] #geek
<thrig> mine has... a bad lisp joke http://72.14.189.113/tmp/2015-07-09-222654_640x480_scrot.png
<popl> Everyone thinks they can draw like Randall Munroe.
[saved it to http://ciar.org/ttk/public/2015-07-09-222654_640x480_scrot.png for preservation]
     #perl, 2015-07-09
 
 
 [1193] #geek
<gage> <gage> ganglia, restart thyself.
<gage> <ganglia> my balls hurt. Fatal Python error: PyThreadState_Get: no current thread.
<gage> <gage, after the usual digging and gnashing of teeth> ohh you mean you have a duplicate declaration in your config file!
<gage> <ganglia> i'm helpful huh?
     #atbot, 2015-07-08
 
 
 [1190] #geek
<robp> License: If you use this, you must donate $1 to someone more intelligent than you
     #sv2600, 2015-06-22
 
 
 [1188] #geek
<alanjf> tm604: Regarding your  [ "A1nix", glob "A1nix" ]  example, why did it change "\x{fc}nix" to "\303\274nix" ?
<tm604> because glob() prefers bytes and silently downgrades Unicode strings
<ttkai> as it should be
<huf> well, silently downgrading is not nice
<tm604> silently++ # glob should be smeared and not heard
     #perl, 2015-06-12
 
 
 [1186] #geek
<thrig> hmm. Mac OS X will allocate an 80G array if you ask for that
<Grinnz_> really? i would think it knows better than what you ask for
     #perl, 2015-06-08
 
 
 [1184] #geek
<jaiya> you put the source in /usr/src then run make menuconfig
<jaiya> then read the help text for every single option and decide whether or not you want it
<kutunluu> sounds old school
<ttkp> welcome to Slackware :-)
     ##slackware, 2015-05-19
 
 
 [1183] #geek
<wgreenhouse> I think the phrase "3D printer" is terrible marketing, because to me that sounds like "printer jams can now be moebius strips"
     ##slackware, 2015-05-19
 
 
 [1181] #geek
<mischief> somebody *please* write a satanic analyzer for go
<glus> mischief - wouldn't that just be:  fmt.Printf("this go code contains no satan\n")
     #go-nuts, 2015-05-11
 
 
 [1180] #geek
* GumbyPAN CPAN Upload: HTTP-Tinyish-0.05 by MIYAGAWA https://metacpan.org/release/MIYAGAWA/HTTP-Tinyish-0.05
<popl> Tinyish
<popl> Tinyisher
<Grinnz_> HTTP::SmallerThanLWP
* ttkai loves the module names folks come up with
<ttkai> and the less professional they are, the less stress I feel to keep mine professional ;-)
<popl> What does that word even mean in the context of CPAN?
<thrig> SOAP::Bubbas::Revenge
<Grinnz_> SOAP::Because::You::Have::To
<revhippie> XML::Cromulence::Embiggener
     #perl, 2015-05-08
 
 
 [1179] #geek
*ttke is a big fan of "there's more than one way to do it".
<bnagy> ttke: then you're in the wrong place
<cespare> ttke: #perl is that way, then
     #go-nuts, 2015-05-04
 
 
 [1176] #geek
<jaiya> everyone at work is scared to move to computers in case they stop working
<jaiya> they are very old
<ttkp> old people know from experience that sometimes technology stops working.
     ##slackware, 2015-04-23
 
 
 [1175] #geek
<thrig> software: stupid, buggy, slow; pick four.
     #perl, 2015-04-10
 
 
 [1173] #geek
<jabberwok> for several years i managed to keep Microsoft IIS with a 9.9999999% uptime
     #perl, 2015-04-02
 
 
 [1171] #geek
<snelly> I just hired a devops engineer for my team that was a missle tech on navy subs
<deedubs> so your projects most likely/ideally never launch?
     #coreos, 2015-03-12
 
 
 [1170] #geek
<ttkai> you could try removing it and re-running your unit tests, see if they all pass
<Ionic> heh, unit tests, right...
<Ionic> those are like backups :)
     #perl, 2015-03-11
 
 
 [1169] #geek
If you are going to get a bloody nose over something, make it blondes, brunettes or your favorite brand of single-malt whiskey, anything but six-parameter curve fits!
     Jonas A. Zukas
 
 
 [1168] #geek
* ology bombs his "killer" interview.
<ology> "Q3: Tanspose an array."
<ology> ok! use Array::Transpose;
<ology> "That's cheating!" Uhhh
     #perl, 2015-02-19
 
 
 [1167] #geek
<varna> It seems that Perl 6 tries to be more "friendly", but it is the "hostility" makes me a fan of Perl 5...
     #perl, 2015-02-12
 
 
 [1162] #geek
<dhar> ....our DBA is using the BIGINT type to store the number of states (as in USofA).  i...wow.
<qq> always leave room for expansion!
<dhar> it's definitely future-proof
     #atbot, 2015-01-16
 
 
 [1161] #geek
<darius> I imagine XSLT programmers say "It's a one pager" the way most other programmers say "It's a one liner".
     #perl, 2014-01-15
 
 
 [1160] #geek
<dhar> i just created a function called javaSucksSoBuildTheMapWeCantBuildInTheConstructor.  my boss will hate that.
     #atbot, 2015-01-14
 
 
 [1159] #geek
<midi> "Leaving out exceptions is the trendy new 'hipsters throwing away everything we've learned over 20 years' thing.  Swift and Go
<midi> are programming languages perfectly suited to run that fixie bike."  (inaccurate, but kinda amuses me.)
<ttkay> afaict, exceptions are like guns -- there's a subculture which teaches and practices responsible exception-throwing/handling,
<ttkay> which can work well, and there's a subculture which teaches and practices abstinence from exceptions, which can
<ttkay> work well, and there's the irresponsible dysfunctional majority which shouldn't be trusted to write software but do anyway,
<ttkay> and exceptions are yet another way they can shoot themselves in the stomach.
<ttkay> there are pros and cons to using exceptions well, and pros and cons to just using return codes, and it's mostly a matter of
<ttkay> what cons you're willing to live with
<0110> and it's important to note the general instruction on how to use exceptions presented in schools and most books is akin to
<0110> teaching people one should always wear 18 guns, randomly load them, remove the safeties, head out to a rave and dance dance dance
<0110> Java is fairly exception oriented and Objective C not at all.  I see little impact of this on Android vs. iOS applications
     #bitmines, 2015-01-08
 
 
 [1158] #geek
<dhar> hm.  looks like part of engineering's "agile process" was to delete the jenkins VM i set up for them.
<dhar> development does go faster when you don't have pesky testing slowing you down!
<sls> dhar!  You work at facebook too?!!!!
     #atbot, 2014-12-02
 
 
 [1157] #geek
<qq> la la cows complaining about the hadoop cluster's hdfs being almost full.
<qq> <qq> have you been cleaning up your temp files?
<qq> <cows> oh.. no
<qq> almost a petabyte freed up
     #atbot, 2014-11-21
 
 
 [1156] #geek
<lord-ivan> i want to build a website that will serve a hotspot shield
<lord-ivan> and i very new to programming and perl
<lord-ivan> i need help on how to go about it
<sproingie> the heck is a hotspot shield?
<thrig> internet of things thingy with a wifi thingy?
<thrig> perlbot: web frameworks
<perlbot> thrig: Catalyst, Dancer, Mojolicious (and many many PSGI frameworks like Web::Simple, Web::Machine)
<lord-ivan> wow
<lord-ivan> what are those
<sproingie> if only there were a way to type names into some website and search for info about them
<thrig> thingies for building a website thing for internet of things thingy with a wifi thingy
     #perl, 2014-10-30
 
 
 [1152] #geek
<EricB> I think all 3 computers I have have USB3
<moof> you only have three computers? are you some kind of freak?
     #atbot, 2014-10-15
 
 
 [1149] #geek
<sevvie> ~translate Hab SoSlI' Quch! from klingon
<Paper-bot> Translated from Klingon to English: Your mother has a smooth forehead!
     #perl, 2014-10-03
 
 
 [1147] #geek
<ttk> Hate redhat as much as we might, they at least test their packages very well.
<moof> usually on users' buttholes.
     #atbot, 2014-09-22
 
 
 [1146] #geek
<*kpuc*> you can do that in perl?
<*ttk*> oh yeah
<*kpuc*> i just tried a man 2 stat, and it's like, "use C or die, lol"
<*kpuc*> which i can do, sure
<*kpuc*> i just usually reach for perl first
<*ttk*> you'll seldom go wrong reaching for perl first ;-)
     #atbot, 2014-09-22
 
 
 [1145] #geek
<tiddy> ESXi ftw
<SkywiseTravel> anyone who has those initials and can't come up with SEXi doesn't know what they're doing
     ##slackware 2014-09-17
 
 
 [1143] #geek
<ProbablyAndy> its sad when i realize there aren't any browsers I actually like - I just use the one that pisses me off the least
<ttkp> same here, ProbablyAndy :-(
<shonudo> same
<wukong> it's true
     ##slackware 2014-08-08
 
 
 [1142] #geek
<eviljames> Linus Torvalds once said: "If Microsoft ever does applications for Linux, that means I've won."
<eviljames> Skype, Office for Android.... pretty clear that Linus won.
     ##slackware 2014-08-05
 
 
 [1141] #geek
<Tekk_> holy shit
<Tekk_> pulseaudio actually fixes a problem
<Tekk_> if I install pulse and have it running
<Tekk_> *BUT DON'T USE IT*
<Tekk_> it fixes my sound volume problem
<eviljames> wat
<eviljames> This is the first problem that Pulse has fixed instead of caused, EVER.
     ##slackware 2014-08-05
 
 
 [1140] #geek
We're approaching a future where the only jobs that don't require computer science skills will be in entertainment or javascript development
     -- Jackson Harper / @jacksonh, https://twitter.com/jacksonh/status/494938289527214080
 
 
 [1139] #geek
<pi31415> i know the difference between ping and pong, black and white, right and wrong
<pi31415> when you throw a ping in the fire, just like words on a wire, you'd think it's hot but it's not, it's cold, and wanders not lost until it's old
     ##slackware, 2014-07-31
 
 
 [1133] #geek
<anno> how fast is dog shit?
<tm604> several orders of magnitude faster than eclipse, I'd guess
     #perl, 2014-07-08
 
 
 [1131] #geek
<zap> Give me libiberty or give me statically linked binaries!
     #bitmines, 2014-07-03
 
 
 [1129] #geek
<byteframe> Firefox is still my browser of choice, but i think they are in bed with the dram manufacturers.
     ##slackware, 2014-07-01
 
 
 [1125] #geek
<mohawk> wow, rebooting win7 can take a long time
<ttk> yeah, but you only reboot once a year or so, so it doesn't much matter, right?
<mohawk> ha ha
     #perl, 2014-06-11
 
 
 [1124] #geek
<gage> there was interesting discussion today at work about python and monotonic clocks
<gage> it does the wrong thing when ntp steps, which breaks our traffic shifter
<gage> apparently it's been a known problem for 7 years
<phone> python has been a known problem for *way* more than 7 years.
     #atbot, 2014-06-04
 
 
 [1121] #geek
<lns> The funny thing is, I installed Linux on my mom's computer, my mom-in-law's computer (and laptop), ... and neither one EVER calls to ask questions.  It just works.  Whereas before with Windows they called at at least weekly.
     #nblug, 2014-05-23
 
 
 [1120] #geek
<qq> wow, an ubuntu 12.04 system just upgraded to 14.04 without breaking anything
<gage> witchcraft!
<kpuc> can you break what is already broken?
<ttk> kpuc++
<kpuc> it's a cheap shot, but those i can reach
     #atbot, 2014-05-22
 
 
 [1114] #geek
<cykros> wow.. seeing news about a "new" OS for security.. got excited, realized it was just tails.. which has been around for at least 3-4 years.
<cykros> to be fair, it is only now version 1.0.
<c0rky> its been under heavy development by the NSA since the revelations
     ##slackware, 2014-05-01
 
 
 [1113] #geek
<ttk> Something I've noticed about #python: there's a strong contingent of Linux users, but most python programmers there seem to develop it under Windows.  This is somewhat in contrast with #perl, where they're mostly *nix users of some flavor.
<ttk> It makes me wonder if there's an easy way to find out how developers in various languages slot in by platform.
<kpuc> hmm, if your os of choice is broken by design, why not your language?
     #atbot, 2014-04-29
 
 
 [1112] #geek
<qq> capistrano was awesome here, it actually used up all the inodes on a disk once,
<qq> the dev guy who was using it had never heard of an inode so it was really funny
     #atbot, 2014-04-25
 
 
 [1111] #geek
<doug> someone in management is proposing that the people who request a feature attach an anticipated revenue figure to it
<doug> and those that do the work put a cost figure on it
<doug> and the difference is some kinda value metric for work done
<doug> i keep thinking i've heard this before, but i dunno from where
<perigrin> I think it was a dilbert series
     #perl, 2014-04-25
 
 
 [1110] #geek
<lns> Windows ME and Vista are in the same dark dungeon together, waiting to die a slow, painful starvation-based death
<lns> Microsoft BOB is there to give them tea and crumpets
     #nblug, 2014-04-22
 
 
 [1109] #geek
<ttk> it drives me up the wall when management hears "still needs debugging" and interprets it as "something we're okay to ship"
<ttk> (or deploy into production)
<moof> it compiles! ship it!
<qq> "still needs debugging" seems more like "it's broken" than "it's ready to ship"
<qq> but then i still retain some higher cortical function
     #atbot, 2014-04-15
 
 
 [1107] #geek
<fuz> good lord, the child has discovered Google Plus.
<fuz> on the bright side there's no one for him to cause trouble with.
     #atbot, 2014-03-05
 
 
 [1106] #geek
<hobbs> "For example, you can wrap the text-changed event of a TextField control in Java as an asynchronous data stream using the following delicious token salad:"
<hobbs> (you do not want to see the salad)
* nlogn braces himself
<hobbs> heh
<hobbs> Observable<string> TextChanges(JTextField tf){
<hobbs>  return new ObservableBase<string>(){
<hobbs>    Closable subscribe(Observer<string> o){
<hobbs>      DocumentListener l = new DocumentListener(){
<hobbs>        void changedUpdate(DocumentEvent e {
<hobbs>          o.OnNext(tf.getText());};
<hobbs>        tf.addDocumentListener (l);
<hobbs>        return new Closable() {
<hobbs>          void close(){tf.removeDocumentListener(l);}}}}}
<nlogn> damn man I thought you were kidding
<nlogn> now I have to barf
<ttk> requesting permission to quote, hobbs :-D
<hobbs> ttk: sure. It's from http://queue.acm.org/detail.cfm?id=2169076
<hobbs> I like how he piles up all of the closing braces. He's like "this isn't worth another 5 lines."
     #perl, 2014-03-14
 
 
 [1105] #geek
<six> A Mac user can naturally progress into a Unix user.  When you're a Windows user...there's nowhere to go
<yert> sure there is
<yert> padded cells
     #bitmines, 2014-03-04
 
 
 [1103] #geek
<robp> ttk: btw I installed slackware on a laptop.  It's boring and uninteresting
<robp> which is exactly what I want from a linux distribution
     #sv2600, 2014-02-18
 
 
 [1101] #geek
<qq> i let ubuntu upgrade my laptop from 12.10 to 13.10
<qq> it finished, with the dpkg system in a consistent state
<qq> no errors
<qq> all characters now display as an empty square
<qq> all characters. in everything, except text console.
<qq> oh dear it's really fucked up now
<qq> i rebooted and now fonts came back but it's trying to run xfce and unity at the same time
     #atbot, 2014-02-13
 
 
 [1100] #geek
<mtardif> It seems some of our customers are still relying on Dynamic Ethernet Relay Protocol
<mtardif> it really should be deprecated
     #noc, 2014-02-12
 
 
 [1099] #geek
<gage> i recently learned that we have a node.js app here in the backend, no idea why
<gage> it converts wikitext to html and back
<kpuc> because a few lines of perl would be insane
<ttk> between WikiText::HTML and Mojo, that might be *one* line of perl.
<gage> my strategy to recruit ttk is just to tell him stuff like this
     #atbot, 2014-02-11
 
 
 [1096] #geek
<midi> the number of people who insist on doing unsane things is sad.  people keep deploying ubuntu servers.  and as geoff and I
<midi> discussed last night, people keep trying to develop their own security stacks.
<pef> "i'm smart!  i can do this better if i limit it to exactly what i need!"
<pef> "encryption is hard.  if i tack on 'fnord' to everything and use rot13, that should be good enough"
<midi> I guess the quandary is that it takes experience to understand that smarts and experience are two separate things.
     #bitmines, 2014-01-28
 
 
 [1092] #geek
<iNoah> my practical introduction to python was trying to make changes to Mailman
<iNoah> and I gotta say, I learned to like python but was not impressed by mailman's design.
<iNoah> which only reinforced my conviction that pretty indentation is the most trivial of programming problems.
     #atbot, 2014-01-21
 
 
 [1090] #geek
<ttk> javascript humor: https://twitter.com/nathandotz/status/423223854220062720
<fuz> most of javascript is humor
<fuz> > [5, 10, 1, 7].sort()
<fuz> [ 1, 10, 5, 7 ]
     #atbot, 2014-01-17
 
 
 [1088] #geek
<Alaric> To be the best possible search engine, an engine needs to scan and index as much as possible of the entire Internet and be able to extract
<Alaric> relevant metadata from it quickly in response to perhaps-poorly-specified queries.
<Alaric> On the other hand, the better it does that, the better a panopticon it has the potential to be.
<Alaric> Highly effective search engines are like fire.  They can be a good servant, or a terrible master.
     #bitmines, 2014-01-13
 
 
 [1087] #geek
<Alaric> Through the magic of cloud computing, you too can get 8MB/s transfer rates between servers in the same cluster!
     #bitmines, 2013-12-17
 
 
 [1085] #geek
<robp> I was thinking it would be fun to do an irc to email bridge just for the practice of gluing things to other things
<robp> because if theres one things every enterprise needs it's people to glue things together that don't even make sense
<robp> "we need you to take in csv files from gopher locations and output them as SGML over HTTP/1.0"
<robp> "The rationale section of this design document just says SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP for three paragraphs"
     #sv2600, 2013-11-22
 
 
 [1084] #geek
<ttkay> I see HashFast has figured out an easier way to turn bitcoin into profit
<dwangoAC> As with any gold rush, it's the people selling the pickaxes making the most money.
     #nblug, 2013-11-22
 
 
 [1082] #geek
<mordy> i'm discovering java isn't that bad, too
<cxreg> that's funny.  java programmers are discovering perl isn't that bad
<cxreg> they just call it scala
     #perl, 2013-11-11
 
 
 [1080] #geek
<geoffk> "(1) you can't fool an honest man but (2) that's OK because you can't find one either."  - FINRA report
     #bitmines, 2013-09-12
 
 
 [1079] #geek
<gage> i just figured out how to use pivotal tracker without my boss noticing, so i finally make issues for everything on my TODO.
<ttk> what's your boss' beef with PivotalTracker?
<gage> his problem is that he wants to give me advice
<qq> that's a terrible problem.
     #atbot, 2013-09-06
 
 
 [1078] #geek
"There are two approaches to the data analysis problem.  One is that of the engineer and the other is that of the mathematician.
 
In the first method, the engineer makes use of his love for plotting data and exercising his personal opinion as to the best fit.  This is done by use of Equation (2.4).  He plots the logarithm of the average velocity between a pair of timing points versus the location of the midpoint of the interval.  He then draws a straight line through the points and computes the drag coefficient from its slope.
 
The mathematician displays his characteristic fear of plotted data and human decision making.  He fits his time-position data by a cubic least squares process.
 
Fortunately, the results of the two methods are practically identical."
 
[NOTE: They missed a third method, practiced by management -- hiring a focus group to analyze the data for them.]
 
     Report Number 1216, "Free Flight Motion of Symmetric Missiles", Ballistic Research Laboratories, 1963, pp 10-11
 
 
 [1076] #geek
<six> no one ever got fired for buying cisco
<midi> not yet.
<midi> but cisco's working on that.
     #bitmines, 2013-08-21
 
 
 [1075] #geek
<mhm> I hope that the people who work  only on cloud computing call themselves "The Weathermen"
<jlk> Awesome idea, though I suppose it would confuse the average person
<bur> Anything confuses the average person
     #tech, 2013-08-20
 
 
 [1074] #geek
<cfedde> set up a server that always returns the best answer.
<ttk> fsdo "best"
<cfedde> add up all the factors, divide by their count, multiply by zero, then add in the correct result.
     #perl, 2013-08-13
 
 
 [1073] #geek
<lns> tables are ancient, therefore compatible
     #nblug, 2013-08-12
 
 
 [1072] #geek
<qq> heh my poor coworker is about to stab his own eye out talking to a new employee who just completely does not understand any portion of the concept of deploying software.
<qq> hahaha i just actually heard the new guy use the exact phrase "but it works on my laptop"
<qq> "ok so how did you test it?" "test?" "yeah, i mean, how do you know it will work in production?" "what do you mean?"
<qq> "so where did you get this jar file?" "right here" "what do you mean right here?" "it's on the desktop right there"
<qq> i am afraid i may spit coffee soon
     #atbot, 2013-07-23
 
 
 [1071] #geek
<TorgoX> When Tim Berners Lee says he and [name forgotten] were presenting a "we have an idea for a WORLD-WIDE WEB!" talk to other people at CERN etc, and he said the language that would have the links to things would be "HTML", and showed some of it, and people saw that it was SGML, people's responses were just short of getting up and throwing their chairs at him.
     IRC conversation, 2013-07-11
 
 
 [1070] #geek
<ttk> if you slog through dice's online "create a resume!", recruiters will beat a path to your door.
<mst> there are few sentences in which I consider 'beat' and 'recruiter' to be a good match, and that isn't one of them ;)
     IRC conversation, 2013-07-05
 
 
 [1069] #geek
<popl> Who need IRL when you have IRC?
     IRC conversation, 2013-06-28
 
 
 [1068] #geek
<qq> ubuntu's bug #2 should be "we have users"
<qq> they're working hard to fix that one, though
     #atbot, 2013-06-27
 
 
 [1066] #geek
<ether> writing map grep sort map grep grep  makes me feel all warm inside
<preaction> that's internal bleeding. see a doctor
     IRC #perl conversation, 2013-04-11
 
 
 [1063] #geek
<manoj> there was an ftp site that held old netscape versions, let's see
<manoj> hmmm doesn't seem up, shockingly enough
<manoj> I tried hitting archive.netscape.com in a browser just in case, and it told me that Kate Moss had a see-through dress
<manoj> So I think that's not it
     #atbot, 2013-03-21
 
 
 [1062] #geek
<qq> i do know that they're almost certainly misusing it here
<qq> if you gave them a hammer they'd try to fry an egg on it
     #atbot, 2013-02-27
 
 
 [1058] #geek
<mordy> so the end user is basically this layer around your software which needs to have documentation and an API, and a clear path to fixing bugs
<mordy> and the end user will always be pissed off/blocked if those things are lacking
     IRC #perl conversation, 2012-12-03
 
 
 [1057] #geek
<fuz> "A Foolish Consistency is the Hobgoblin of Little Minds" should be "A Foolish Consistency is the Whole Point Of Python"
     #atbot, 2012-11-19
 
 
 [1056] #geek
<qq> All of node.js is divided into three parts, of which the first is occupied by stupidity, the second by idiocy, and the third by those who are in their own language are called Bros, and in our own, Cretins.
     #atbot, 2012-09-24
 
 
 [1055] #geek
<dr.bez> today, i get to create a windows installer.
<qq> ha ha *points*
<roens> haha
<dr.bez> hopefully the world-ending asteroid can land somewhere in the hillsboro area in the next 24 hours, so that i don't actually have to complete this thing
     #atbot, 2012-08-14
 
 
 [1054] #geek
<weeblewobble> would you call node.js a hipster 'framework'?
<f0rk> no, I've heard of it.
     IRC #perl conversation, 2012-05-25
 
 
 [1053] #geek
<rob> Norton or Symantec or whatever it was was the first thing I nuked on that laptop.
<rob> It whined all the way down and told me the internet would rape me and my whole family if I uninstalled it.
<rob> I think right at the end it even said something anti-semitic.
     Rob, 2011-08-08
 
 
 [1052] #geek
<dr.bez> twitter is a vast open sewer on which, on some perpetually stained ledge, pretty plants grow in the fertile soil
     #atbot, 2011-01-31
 
 
 [1051] #geek
<Eeyore> enterprise infrastructure: a warp drive that only stays running with constant tinkering by a crazed Scottish engineer, holodecks that randomly kill people, transporters that turn a stray ensign into goo every other week, and a ship that regularly gets shaken up in combat yet doesn't have a single seat belt.
     #atbot, 2010-10-25
 
 
 [1050] #geek
those who forget Usenet are doomed to try to recreate it...badly
     Felix
 
 
 [1043] #geek
<qq> i'm going to go eat dinner and hopefully when i get home, the cats will have ported this filesystem code to lpc2106
     The amazing Volpe, 2009-04-28
 
 
 [1038] #geek
<qq> Vista is probably slow because it has to check the DRM status of every bit transferred to or from the disk against an XML table provided by the RIAA
     #atbot, 2008-06-11
 
 
 [1035] #geek
<qq> if phpmyadmin were a children's toy, which is essentially is, it would be from china and covered in deadly lead paint
     #atbot, 2007-11-27
 
 
 [1033] #geek
<fuz> holy fucking shit.
<fuz> I have just encountered my first PL/SQL funcitons that generate HTML.
<fuz> it's like finding a unicorn! only sitting in a pool of its own urine hunched over a crackpipe.
     #atbot, 2007-08-13
 
 
 [1031] #geek
<manoj> facebook is trying to be the new hip company to be at
<gps> so is *
<gps> where * matches everything except archive.org
     #atbot, 2007-07-10
 
 
 [1018] #geek
No yam node lasts forever.  No yam node remains gone forever.  It is a forest that grows, replenishes, burns, and regrows anew, and has stinky fungus growing on a lot of it, and animals that shit everywhere, and people who leave trash, and now that I think about it maybe it should be clearcut, drilled for oil, and then paved over.
     The Elder Dan
 
 
 [1017] #geek
Randomising letters in the middle of words [has] little or no effect on the ability of skilled readers to understand the text.  This is easy to denmtrasote.  In a pubiltacion of New Scnieitst you could ramdinose all the letetrs, keipeng the first two and last two the same, and reibadailty would hadrly be aftcfeed.  My ansaylis did not come to much beucase the thoery at the time was for shape and senqeuce retigcionon.  Saberi's work sugsegts we may have some pofrweul palrlael prsooscers at work.  The resaon for this is suerly that idnetiyfing coentnt by paarllel prseocsing speeds up regnicoiton.  We only need the first and last two letetrs to spot chganes in meniang.
     Excerpt from a recent article on cognition [Note: seems easier to read the *faster* I try to read it. -- TTK]
 
 
 [1016] #geek
If they hold me without charge, I'll be neutralized!  Aieee!
     Ergazork
 
 
 [1013] #geek
For a succesful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled.
     Richard P. Feynman
 
 
 [1011] #geek
Some day a computer intelligence will arrise that is capable of being aware of the entirety of human thought and expression stored on the web.. and it will be completely useless because no one will be able to get it to stop laughing.
     John L Williams
 
 
 [1009] #geek
<fleagirl> i suppose it's not nice to pick on someone for being dumb.
<quark> i got picked on for being smart.  fair game. :)
     #scruz, 2001-05-30
 
 
 [1006] #geek
Language and OS research lives on in MUDs, of all places.  Here are OO languages with built-in object permanence, sometimes distributed across multiple hosts, with in-process task schedulers and other OS like features, in use on a daily basis, not mouldering in the back issues of some journal.  For some of the programmers using these systems, the MUD code is the only language they know.  Casual throw-away language attempts by hacker students have become far more sophisticated since I left school.
     'Rich', message-id <8ev757$k86@darkstar.ucsc.edu>
 
 
 [1004] #geek
No memory wall?  Ah, excuse me, but the impact may depend on the angle of your trajectory.
     Achim Gratz, Message-ID <caevbvblm.fsf@ite127.inf.tu-dresden.de>
 
 
 
 
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