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 [1258] #geek
<simcop2387> You can't use ${^GLOBAL_PHASE} portably?
<Grinnz> nope
<Grinnz> well, "yep", once everyone stops using perls before 5.14 :P
<ttkp> Grinnz - so, once everyone phases out their RHEL6 systems .. not holding my breath :-)
<Grinnz> good idea, it's hard to hold breath for 15 years
     #perl, 2017-03-21
 [1257] #geek
<TechPriest> i use linux
<hox> we already all know youre a virgin
<TechPriest> i didn't say openbsd
     #sv2600, 2017-03-16
 [1256] #politics
You don't fight fascism because you are going to win.  You fight fascism because it is fascism.
     Jean-Paul Sartre
 [1255] #geek
<freeside> sysadmins don't get no respect.
<ChoHag> We don't need it.
<ChoHag> We have root.
     #perl, 2017-03-14
 [1254] #geek
A picture is worth ten thousand words -- but only those to describe the picture.
Hardly any sets of ten thousand words can be adequately described with pictures.
     UNIX fortune cookie
 [1253] #funny
<six> Judaism is what you get when lawyers make a religion,
<six> Islam is what you get when judges make a religion,
<six> Christianity is what you get when politicians make a religion.
     #bitmines, 2017-01-26
 [1252] #geek
<anno> in the wheel factory engineers outnumber workers
     #perl, 2017-01-26
 [1251] #geek
<aphone> <beefy> on that note, i read that the number of people announcing the death of moore's law doubles every 18 months
     #atbot, 2017-01-13
 [1250] #geek
<Chu> So. Uh. This energy syphon thing, it'll STOP, right?
<Robo> Either yes or we're about to find out what a Schwarzchild radius looks like.
<Chu> That's one of those HORRIBLE astrophysical limits where reality breaks down, isn't it?
<Robo> Hey, can this thing go any faster?
 [1249] #geek
<roens> YAY! I've finally figured out the magic (181-char) nmcli command!
<ttk> O_o
<gage> good lord
<gage> 75 more characters and some shells wouldn't even let you execute it
     #atbot, 2017-01-03
 [1248] #geek
<ningu> one time I called someone the second derivative of velocity (jerk) and they said ooh, third derivative of velocity (snap)
     #perl, 2016-12-29
 [1247] #geek
<xenu> software developers get the same experience with linkedin as beautiful women get with dating websites
<noah> I dunno, do you get "well fuck you, you're incompetent anyway" when you turn down recruiter solicitations?
     #perl, 2016-12-29
 [1246] #profound
<mmlj4> youth is wasted on the young
<Demon_Fox> No, it's wisdom that's wasted on the old.
     ##slackware, 2016-12-12
 [1245] #geek
<noah> hahah.  the x86 has more pages of documentation than the 6502 has transistors
     #atbot, 2016-12-09
 [1244] #geek
I don't understand why all of your technology seems to be implemented by
highschool students with less engineering acumen than your average turtle, but
at this point I doubt anything you do will surprise me.
 [1243] #funny
Just once, I wish we would encounter an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets
     The Brigader
 [1242] #geek
<gage> > The S in IoT stands for Security.
     #atbot, 2016-11-15
 [1241] #geek
<chansen_> xenu: You are making a huge fool of yourself!
<simcop2387> oh great, is this politics again?
<xenu> unix signals
<xenu> political discussions are less heated
     #perl, 2016-11-10
 [1240] #geek
<gage> [2:07 PM] Naughty Developer: btw, are the haproxy config change versioned?
<gage> [2:07 PM] Jeff Gage: yes
<gage> [2:07 PM] Naughty Developer: oh?
<gage> [2:08 PM] Naughty Developer: i actually made a change on prod the other day, i guess that didn't get captured in whatever version control we have
<gage> "whatever version control"
<dr.pox> hahahahahahahaha
<gage> devops: ops works like developers, developers still act like helpless babies
     #atbot, 2016-11-04
 [1239] #politics
<BrokenCog> I wouldn't say [Trump is] a Republican as much as an Anarchist, to be honest.
<ttks> he can't be an anarchist; authoritarianism contradicts anarchism
<BrokenCog> ttks: logic.  meh.
     ##slackware, 2016-10-20
 [1238] #geek
<phone> i could tell you a lot about dealing with crashing x86 systems, but then i'd have to hire you
     #atbot, 2016-10-18
 [1237] #geek
<thrig> oh boy XS
<ttkp> we got Inline::C these days .. it's much nicer to work with
<tm604> Inline::C is not so nice from the ops point of view
<ttkp> how so, tm604?
<tm604> with XS you compile when you build+install, with Inline::C it'll recompile when you run the code
<tm604> so you end up deploying something that may work differently from the dev version. there's also the pleasant surprise when you realise there's no C compiler on the production system.
<ttkp> how does that happen?  if you're using RPM, I'd expect it would either note the dependencies (including the compiler) or just include the precompiled executable
<ttkp> and if you're installing via cpan, you have to run the tests to install the module, which runs the code
<tm604> you usually end up with the build files not being listed in MANIFEST/carton output path/anywhere useful
<tm604> so although things seem to work fine on the build server, it takes more work to make sure all the bits are transferred to the deployment target.
<ttkp> you're describing an interesting release process .. what OS are you using, there?
<tm604> Linux (debian/ubuntu/alpine based)
<tm604> but that's a pretty standard approach with carton - build everything, commit to repo, deploy that repo to target.
<ttkp> most places I've worked, you make sure you have well-working RPMs for all of your dependencies
<tm604> most places I've worked at, I'd leave if they mentioned RPM outside the context of "we're buying you a shiny new bike"
<ttkp> hahaha
[Summary:  tm604 says Inline::C causes operational problems, but uses an insane deployment strategy which of course would cause problems (and not just with Inline::C).  Suggesting that a more industry-standard best-practices approach would avoid those problems prompted mockery for such backward ideas :-) Some things you just have to laugh off]
     #perl, 2016-10-10
 [1236] #funny
<Deke> Senate will vote on Wed on overriding Obama's veto of the bill to allow 9/11 victims to sue Saudi Arabia. it is expected to get the 2/3rds needed.
<pef> it should require 9/11ths
     #bitmines, 2016-09-26
 [1235] #geek
<tm604> I have no idea what "clear" means, I'm a C++ programmer.
     #perl, 2016-09-15
 [1234] #geek
<qq> android won't ever use systemd because systemd wasn't invented at google :)
<gage> theirs is called systemg
     atbot, 2016-09-06
 [1233] #geek
<Urchlay> nothing says 'I am not a professional' in quite the same way as a DJ using a laptop, and it's playing the windows desktop noises through his 2000 watts of speakers
<Urchlay> it's the audio equivalent of seeing a windows BSOD on a giant sign or a flight display at the airport
     ##slackware, 2016-08-30
 [1232] #geek
<rob0> Slackware voted to Remain in the EUdev
     ##slackware, 2016-08-22
 [1231] #geek
<xenu> just came up with a simple way to split the path:
<xenu> my $path = "foo.bar.dupa"; $/="."; open my($fh), "+>", \my($z); print {$fh} $path, "\n"; seek $fh, 0, 0; while (<$fh>) { chomp; say }
<Grinnz_> "simple"
     #perl, 2016-08-22
 [1230] #geek
<wgreenhouse> the saying in #emacs is that "hell is another person's ~/.emacs"
     ##slackware, 2016-08-11
 [1229] #profound
<shonudo> neither a keeper nor a prisoner be
     ##slackware, 2016-08-09
 [1228] #funny
<ttkp> can't imagine this diverse horde of cats all agreeing on any kind of motto
<shonudo> "we disagree"
<shonudo> ^^ our motto :P
<geggam> dont like it
     ##slackware, 2016-07-27
 [1227] #geek
<qq> basically nobody has anything bad to say about sonic.net
<ttk> toss "Sonic's infrastructure is written in perl" into the middle of the room and watch the world turn on us like an enraged beast ;-)
<phone> mmm, perl
<moof> mmm, perl.
<ttk> mmm perl
     #atbot, 2016-07-22
 [1226] #politics
<ChoHag> The world's going to shit. The US just has better media coverage.
     #perl, 2016-07-01
 [1225] #geek
<sls> I'm not a fan of nougat either.
<sls> What is Android going to do when they run out of letters?
<noah> there's always unicode
<noah> Android [pile of poop]
     #atbot, 2016-06-30
 [1224] #geek
<Su-Shee> ooooh my boyfriend made me a patch for xterm for the iso unicode input support!!!
<ttkai> he's a keeper!
<llua> bowchicawowow
     #perl, 2016-06-28
 [1223] #funny
<colin> In 1984 at my first job, the boss decided to 'save a few bucks' and ordered some TO-220 7805s
<colin> [a common 5-volt voltage regulator chip in a plastic package] from Europe.
<colin> These things did not work at all. They did pass a voltage but it was not regulated.
<colin> I remember taking one and cracking it open in a vise to discover there was no chip inside --
<colin> the Vin and Vout leads were a single stamp of metal making a wire.
<colin> It turns out these things were from the former USSR via some distributor in Poland.
<colin> I got the boss to go back to Hamilton-Avnet.
     #bitmines, 2016-06-22
 [1222] #funny
<juboba> so the problem of steam in my computer persists and I'm out of ideas
<shonudo> install a vent
     ##slackware, 2016-06-20
 [1221] #funny
<phone> http://www.qatarscoop.com/news/qatar-man-arrested-for-smuggling-bacon-in-his-anal-cavity/
<nathan> uh.. if i have bacon for breakfast before flying to Qatar, wouldn't I be guilty of that too?
     #atbot, 2016-06-13
 [1220] #geek
<phone> i like 2016.
<phone> i just used the phrase "only 4.1B transitors"
     #atbot, 2016-06-09
 [1219] #geek
<hawks> instead of rock paper scissors we should have crypto lawyer feds
<hawks> crypto beats lawyers, lawyers beat feds, and feds beat you with a rubber hose
     #sv2600, 2016-04-06
 [1218] #wtf
"Police Power", a doggerel monstrosity of six verses:
Darkest hour
Looking dour
Pig-faced glower
Victims cower
Screaming louder
Keg of powder
 [1217] #profound
<geggam> americans argue over who gets to drive... UK types just want someone to drive
     ##slackware, 2016-03-23
 [1216] #geek
<wolfsburg18> Any recommendation for average and mean functions, seems there are several packages which provide similar functions
<ether> List::Util is in core and has some arithmetic functions.
<LeoNerd> ( sum @_ ) / scalar @_ for the arithmetic mean
<LeoNerd> 1 / sum map { 1/$_ } @_  for the harmonic mean
<LeoNerd> ( product @_ ) ** ( 1 / @_ )  for the geometric mean
<LeoNerd> ( nsort @_ )[@_/2]  for the median
     #perl, 2016-03-22
 [1215] #profound
I have thought it my duty to exhibit things as they are, not as they ought to be.
     Alexander Hamilton, 1782-08-13
 [1214] #geek
<moof> I have a suggestion for the pottering-enabled OS moniker, to distringuish it from more traditional unixlikes: systemdix.
     #atbot, 2016-03-01
 [1213] #geek
<midi> We discovered this week that if you recite the Atlassian deployment guide in reverse, you summon the
<midi> goat-demon Azazael.  But it gets worse!  If you recite it forwards you install JIRA.
     #bitmines, 2016-02-23
 [1212] #geek
<fuz> ttk, I find your source control terrifying.
     #atbot, 2016-02-22
 [1211] #funny
<gage> what is the difference between USA and USB?
<gage> One connects to all your devices and reads your data, the other is an interface standard.
     #atbot, 2016-01-25
 [1210] #geek
A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer
you didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable.
     Leslie Lamport, May 28 1987 http://research.microsoft.com/en-us/um/people/lamport/pubs/distributed-system.txt
 [1209] #politics
<BrokenCog> that's why it's called propaganda:
<BrokenCog> it props up your agenda.
     ##slackware, 2016-01-13
 [1208] #geek
Computers that do useful work are so 20th century - we've moved on.
     GNOME developer
 [1207] #geek
<mishehu> "UEFI" is the shortened version...  the full version is "yoU EFIng son of a b mother EFIng crap, work already!"
     ##slackware, 2015-12-02
 [1206] #geek
<Urchlay> I propose that "puke of XML" be made the official plural for XML.
<Urchlay> Like "herd of cattle", "school of fish",  "murder of crows"
     ##slackware, 2015-10-26
 [1205] #profound
"This telephone has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." -- An internal Western Union memo, 1876
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." -- IBM chairman Thomas Watson, 1943
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, founder, chairman & president of DEC, 1977
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
"Everything that can be invented has already been invented." -- Charles H. Duell, director of the U.S. Patent Office, 1899
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristin Wilson, Nintendo, Inc., 1989.
"A rocket will never be able to leave the earth's atmosphere." -- The New York Times, 1936
"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." -- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957
"But what is it good for?" -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.
"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" -- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.
"There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom." -- Nobel Prize-winning physicist Robert Milliken, 1923
"Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high schools." -- 1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's revolutionary rocket work.
"Television won't last because people will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night." -- Producer Darryl Zanuck, 20th Century Fox, 1946
"Well-informed people know it is impossible to transmit the voice over wires and that were it possible to do so, the thing would be of no practical value." -- Boston Post, 1865
"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value." -- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.
"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction." -- Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872
"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon." -- Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873.
"You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck." -- The Grand Ole Opry's Jim Denny to Elvis Presley, 1954
"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible." -- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)
"You'd better learn secretarial skills or else get married." -- Modeling agency, rejecting Marilyn Monroe in 1944
"Radio has no future." "X-rays are clearly a hoax". "The aeroplane is scientifically impossible." -- Royal Society president Lord Kelvin, 1897-99
"Forget it. No Civil War picture ever made a nickel." -- MGM executive, advising against investing in Gone With The Wind
"The atom bomb will never go off - and I speak as an expert in explosives." -- U.S. Admiral William Leahy in 1945
"Television won't matter in your lifetime or mine." -- Radio Times editor Rex Lambert
     Naysayers Gotta Nay
 [1204] #profound
To be scientifically literate is to empower yourself to know when someone else is full of bullshit.
     Neil deGrasse Tyson
 [1203] #geek
<Stopher> oh man, i just did a JSON.stringify() on something and stashed it somewhere i knew an error message will complain.
<Stopher> and it *worked*; the error message printed out that object
<Stopher> it's a shitty way, but now i can get some feedback on the inner workings of this docusign system
     #chat, 2015-09-10
 [1202] #politics
<Kamuela_iOS> Trump has done more for business than anyone since Stalin
     #go-nuts, 2015-09-04
 [1201] #militaria
American 155mm howitzer evolution:
    * 1939: Make a howitzer (M114)
    * 1978: Make it bigger (M198)
    * 2005: Make it smaller and much lighter (M777)
Russian 152mm howitzer evolution:
    * 1943: Make a howitzer (D-1)
    * 1955: Make it bigger (D-20)
    * 1975: Make it bigger, and fire nukes (2A36)
    * 2006: Give it two barrels instead of one (2S35)
 [1200] #geek
<SlackGNU> I like penguins as much as the next guy, but they can hardly work without a gnu.
<wgreenhouse> SlackGNU: in a conversation about the Linux netfilter vs. BSD pf, they really do mean "Linux" and not "GNU/Linux", as netfilter is a kernel feature
<wgreenhouse> just so you aren't incorrectly pedantic
<goarilla> :D
<ttkp> :-D
<SlackGNU> wgreenhouse: I stand corrected.
     ##slackware, 2015-08-14
 [1199] #geek
<no_9> this kid was trying to sell me a phone w/o a sdcard slot last time and said 'you just use the cloud for that stuff!'
<no_9> i asked him what i was going to do on a cloudless day
<no_9> he gave me this look like "grandpa youre SO far behind the curve"
     ##slackware, 2015-08-11
 [1198] #geek
<Stopher> i think i just wrote a reasonably generalized threaded shell-out-style object for C#
<Stopher> you create the object with the path to the exe you want to run and any arguments you'd like to pass that exe, and the constructor creates a 'process' for it, sets it up, and creates a thread for executing that processes
<Stopher> my object also has members for getting STDOUT and STDERR, and can ask if the process has exited yet
     #chat, 2015-08-11
 [1197] #wtf
<pink_mist> sounds a bit like sweden and norway ... we swedes have loads of jokes about norwegians ... and the norwegians have loads of jokes about us ... and the danes have loads of jokes about us ... and the finns have loads of jokes about us ... and the icelanders have ... well ok, I don't know what they have cause they're incomprehensible :P
     ##slackware, 2015-08-03
 [1196] #geek
<sonic> agile development doesn't mean build, then design!
     #atbot, 2015-07-24
 [1195] #geek
* ttk vaguely remembers talk about a line of succession having been set up, after Volkerding survived that life-threatening infection some years back
<Urchlay> yeah, there's a designated heir to the Iron Throne of Slackeros
     ##slackware, 2015-07-22
 [1194] #geek
<thrig> mine has... a bad lisp joke
<popl> Everyone thinks they can draw like Randall Munroe.
[saved it to http://ciar.org/ttk/public/2015-07-09-222654_640x480_scrot.png for preservation]
     #perl, 2015-07-09
 [1193] #geek
<gage> <gage> ganglia, restart thyself.
<gage> <ganglia> my balls hurt. Fatal Python error: PyThreadState_Get: no current thread.
<gage> <gage, after the usual digging and gnashing of teeth> ohh you mean you have a duplicate declaration in your config file!
<gage> <ganglia> i'm helpful huh?
     #atbot, 2015-07-08
 [1192] #wtf
Bugorsky (a Russian of course, all of the best lab accidents happen in Russia) famously got shot in the face with a 70 GeV synchrotron in 1978 and is still very much alive today.
     Jason L, 2015-07-02, on the practicality of particle beam weapons, http://www.tank-net.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=40079&p=1133354
 [1191] #profound
Never do something, when doing nothing is technically superior.
     -- Philosophies of Slackware
 [1190] #geek
<robp> License: If you use this, you must donate $1 to someone more intelligent than you
     #sv2600, 2015-06-22
 [1189] #politics
The power to authenticate is in many cases the power to control, and handing all authentication power to the government is beyond all reason
     Ronald L. Rivest, 1998
 [1188] #geek
<alanjf> tm604: Regarding your  [ "A1nix", glob "A1nix" ]  example, why did it change "\x{fc}nix" to "\303\274nix" ?
<tm604> because glob() prefers bytes and silently downgrades Unicode strings
<ttkai> as it should be
<huf> well, silently downgrading is not nice
<tm604> silently++ # glob should be smeared and not heard
     #perl, 2015-06-12
 [1187] #profound
He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself.
     Thomas Paine
 [1186] #geek
<thrig> hmm. Mac OS X will allocate an 80G array if you ask for that
<Grinnz_> really? i would think it knows better than what you ask for
     #perl, 2015-06-08
 [1185] #profound
The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time.
The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.
     Albert Einstein
 [1184] #geek
<jaiya> you put the source in /usr/src then run make menuconfig
<jaiya> then read the help text for every single option and decide whether or not you want it
<kutunluu> sounds old school
<ttkp> welcome to Slackware :-)
     ##slackware, 2015-05-19
 [1183] #geek
<wgreenhouse> I think the phrase "3D printer" is terrible marketing, because to me that sounds like "printer jams can now be moebius strips"
     ##slackware, 2015-05-19
 [1182] #militaria
The Nazis entered this war under the rather childish delusion that they were going to bomb everyone else, and nobody was going to bomb them.  At Rotterdam, London, Warsaw, and half a hundred other places, they put their rather naive theory into operation.  They sowed the wind, and now they are going to reap the whirlwind.
     Arthur Travers Harris, 1942
 [1181] #geek
<mischief> somebody *please* write a satanic analyzer for go
<glus> mischief - wouldn't that just be:  fmt.Printf("this go code contains no satan\n")
     #go-nuts, 2015-05-11
 [1180] #geek
* GumbyPAN CPAN Upload: HTTP-Tinyish-0.05 by MIYAGAWA https://metacpan.org/release/MIYAGAWA/HTTP-Tinyish-0.05
<popl> Tinyish
<popl> Tinyisher
<Grinnz_> HTTP::SmallerThanLWP
* ttkai loves the module names folks come up with
<ttkai> and the less professional they are, the less stress I feel to keep mine professional ;-)
<popl> What does that word even mean in the context of CPAN?
<thrig> SOAP::Bubbas::Revenge
<Grinnz_> SOAP::Because::You::Have::To
<revhippie> XML::Cromulence::Embiggener
     #perl, 2015-05-08
 [1179] #geek
*ttke is a big fan of "there's more than one way to do it".
<bnagy> ttke: then you're in the wrong place
<cespare> ttke: #perl is that way, then
     #go-nuts, 2015-05-04
 [1178] #wtf
<mishehu> I'm reviewing HOA docs, and they defined an area of 25" x 25" = 25 square inches
<mishehu> part of me wants to find the idiot who wrote that and strangle that person
<Skywise> those are the guys you want doing your tax assessment
<ttkp> I'm guessing folks who paid attention in middle-school math class will land better jobs than "HOA doc writer", so it makes some sense.
<Skywise> people who are stupid in school are still stupid afterwards
     ##slackware, 2015-05-04
 [1177] #geek
<qq> fwiw ubuntu 15.04 with systemd takes longer to boot than 13.10 without systemd
     #atbot, 2015-05-01
 [1176] #geek
<jaiya> everyone at work is scared to move to computers in case they stop working
<jaiya> they are very old
<ttkp> old people know from experience that sometimes technology stops working.
     ##slackware, 2015-04-23
 [1175] #geek
<thrig> software: stupid, buggy, slow; pick four.
     #perl, 2015-04-10
 [1174] #profound
<cfedde> theory is closer to reality in theory than it is in reality.
     #perl, 2015-04-07
 [1173] #geek
<jabberwok> for several years i managed to keep Microsoft IIS with a 9.9999999% uptime
     #perl, 2015-04-02
 [1172] #wtf
<donkey_boy> DEATH TO INFIDELS
<terratoma> donkey_boy: we still dont have generics
     #go-nuts, 2015-04-02
 [1171] #geek
<snelly> I just hired a devops engineer for my team that was a missle tech on navy subs
<deedubs> so your projects most likely/ideally never launch?
     #coreos, 2015-03-12
 [1170] #geek
<ttkai> you could try removing it and re-running your unit tests, see if they all pass
<Ionic> heh, unit tests, right...
<Ionic> those are like backups :)
     #perl, 2015-03-11
 [1169] #geek
If you are going to get a bloody nose over something, make it blondes, brunettes or your favorite brand of single-malt whiskey, anything but six-parameter curve fits!
     Jonas A. Zukas
 [1168] #geek
* ology bombs his "killer" interview.
<ology> "Q3: Tanspose an array."
<ology> ok! use Array::Transpose;
<ology> "That's cheating!" Uhhh
     #perl, 2015-02-19
 [1167] #geek
<varna> It seems that Perl 6 tries to be more "friendly", but it is the "hostility" makes me a fan of Perl 5...
     #perl, 2015-02-12
 [1166] #wtf
<Skywise> that slashdot link was to a comment about the soviet survival kit
<MetaNova> shotgun for bear
<Skywise> its a 3 barrelled gun
<Skywise> http://science.slashdot.org/story/15/02/04/1821207/tp-82-the-gun-cosmonauts-carried-on-space-missions
<Skywise> 2 smooth bore shotgun and 1 rifle barrel
<Skywise> Although its not widely discussed, i find many of the other elements of the soviet survival kit fascinating:
    1. PT3: tactical eating potato (1) if bear like potato
    2. V92: Vodka (potato but liquid) for drink in case of bear
    3. LL2: 40 pound brass bust of glorious comrade Lenin (maybe show bear)
    4. C32: Camera, 3 photos for secret picture of bear (can also take picture of potato)
    5. T21: Mikheil Jacks son cassete playing tape
    6. PT2: Second potato (removed by secret police, holster only. is no second potato. you are of greed.)
     ##slackware, 2015-02-04
 [1165] #mathishard
<FatalNIX> yeah I dunno what the hell it's doing
<FatalNIX> hence why I never do math with C :P
<ttkp> :-( but math's one of the few things C does better than python or perl!
<FatalNIX> how often do I ever do arithmetic math when I write code?
<FatalNIX> usually never.
[I weep for the future]
     ##slackware, 2015-01-29
 [1164] #politics
Failure to hold an LEO accountable for violating the law gives tacit approval of extralegal retaliation.
     Mick, 2015-01-27
 [1163] #wtf
<shonudo> your mom
<Skywise> you should of seen what your mom did today
<ttkp> "should of" *twitch*
<Skywise> thats current usage
<Skywise> we all know the roots, but times have changed
<ttkp> oh quay, 1f dats' teh weigh U wont et
<Skywise> thats prefectly cromulent to me, i've been on irc a while
     ##slackware, 2015-01-23
 [1162] #geek
<dhar> ....our DBA is using the BIGINT type to store the number of states (as in USofA).  i...wow.
<qq> always leave room for expansion!
<dhar> it's definitely future-proof
     #atbot, 2015-01-16
 [1161] #geek
<darius> I imagine XSLT programmers say "It's a one pager" the way most other programmers say "It's a one liner".
     #perl, 2014-01-15
 [1160] #geek
<dhar> i just created a function called javaSucksSoBuildTheMapWeCantBuildInTheConstructor.  my boss will hate that.
     #atbot, 2015-01-14
 [1159] #geek
<midi> "Leaving out exceptions is the trendy new 'hipsters throwing away everything we've learned over 20 years' thing.  Swift and Go
<midi> are programming languages perfectly suited to run that fixie bike."  (inaccurate, but kinda amuses me.)
<ttkay> afaict, exceptions are like guns -- there's a subculture which teaches and practices responsible exception-throwing/handling,
<ttkay> which can work well, and there's a subculture which teaches and practices abstinence from exceptions, which can
<ttkay> work well, and there's the irresponsible dysfunctional majority which shouldn't be trusted to write software but do anyway,
<ttkay> and exceptions are yet another way they can shoot themselves in the stomach.
<ttkay> there are pros and cons to using exceptions well, and pros and cons to just using return codes, and it's mostly a matter of
<ttkay> what cons you're willing to live with
<0110> and it's important to note the general instruction on how to use exceptions presented in schools and most books is akin to
<0110> teaching people one should always wear 18 guns, randomly load them, remove the safeties, head out to a rave and dance dance dance
<0110> Java is fairly exception oriented and Objective C not at all.  I see little impact of this on Android vs. iOS applications
     #bitmines, 2015-01-08
 [1158] #geek
<dhar> hm.  looks like part of engineering's "agile process" was to delete the jenkins VM i set up for them.
<dhar> development does go faster when you don't have pesky testing slowing you down!
<sls> dhar!  You work at facebook too?!!!!
     #atbot, 2014-12-02
 [1157] #geek
<qq> la la cows complaining about the hadoop cluster's hdfs being almost full.
<qq> <qq> have you been cleaning up your temp files?
<qq> <cows> oh.. no
<qq> almost a petabyte freed up
     #atbot, 2014-11-21
 [1156] #geek
<lord-ivan> i want to build a website that will serve a hotspot shield
<lord-ivan> and i very new to programming and perl
<lord-ivan> i need help on how to go about it
<sproingie> the heck is a hotspot shield?
<thrig> internet of things thingy with a wifi thingy?
<thrig> perlbot: web frameworks
<perlbot> thrig: Catalyst, Dancer, Mojolicious (and many many PSGI frameworks like Web::Simple, Web::Machine)
<lord-ivan> wow
<lord-ivan> what are those
<sproingie> if only there were a way to type names into some website and search for info about them
<thrig> thingies for building a website thing for internet of things thingy with a wifi thingy
     #perl, 2014-10-30
 [1155] #wtf
Splat was the name
of my favorite Toad,
who lived in the Field
and died on the Road.
Thump was the name
of my brothers' best friend,
who hit lots of Balls
until one hit Him.
Mommy and Daddy
would always drive fast
over hills and through Trees
until one small ice patch.
We went to live
with Granny and Gramps,
until they caught Ebola
licking Liberian stamps.
We went to the orphanage
with kids who had glares
and they teased us a lot 'til
they fell down nearby Stairs.
The Borsteads adopted
us as a matched pair.
But Sylvia died burning
while spraying her Hair.
And Thomas sweet Thomas
the widower and heir
was caught in the woods
by a passing Black Bear.
Now we two live here
alone with our ghosts.
The neighbors have fled
to villas up the Coast.
The orchard lies dying,
the Roses go bare,
Squirrels have left us,
Songbirds are Scarce.
So give us wide berth
avoid and prepare.
Death shows us favors
and we serve him Pears.
     -- George Herbert, 2014-10-25
 [1154] #politics
If your enemy is buried in quicksand up to his neck, pull him out.
If he is buried up to his eyes, step on his head.
     -- Niccoli Machiavelli, "The Prince"
 [1153] #militaria
An old joke from the cold war era:
A NATO country ambassador once asked Finnish General Ehrnrooth at a embassy reception in Helsinki:
- Ambassador: "How many Soviet troops do you have in Finland?"
- The General responded; "Well we are neutral country and we don't have any foreign troops in our country"
- Ambassador: "Please, don't recite propaganda! We both know it's not true!"
- General: "Well you are right; we have around 300,000 Soviet soliders in Finland"
- Ambassador: "Really? Is that right? Then ... where are they all? I haven't seen any ..."
- General: "They all are six feet under ground"
 [1152] #geek
<EricB> I think all 3 computers I have have USB3
<moof> you only have three computers? are you some kind of freak?
     #atbot, 2014-10-15
 [1151] #geek
<EricB> systemd: a modern reinvention of corewars.
     #atbot, 2014-10-06
 [1150] #wtf
"Since the beginning, the Soviet Union has had five enemies -- International Capitalism and the four seasons."
 [1149] #geek
<sevvie> ~translate Hab SoSlI' Quch! from klingon
<Paper-bot> Translated from Klingon to English: Your mother has a smooth forehead!
     #perl, 2014-10-03
 [1148] #wtf
"There's something really rewarding about putting a dead thing in a box, and having it be gone the next day."
     -- cobalt ciar, 2014-10-01
 [1147] #geek
<ttk> Hate redhat as much as we might, they at least test their packages very well.
<moof> usually on users' buttholes.
     #atbot, 2014-09-22
 [1146] #geek
<*kpuc*> you can do that in perl?
<*ttk*> oh yeah
<*kpuc*> i just tried a man 2 stat, and it's like, "use C or die, lol"
<*kpuc*> which i can do, sure
<*kpuc*> i just usually reach for perl first
<*ttk*> you'll seldom go wrong reaching for perl first ;-)
     #atbot, 2014-09-22
 [1145] #geek
<tiddy> ESXi ftw
<SkywiseTravel> anyone who has those initials and can't come up with SEXi doesn't know what they're doing
     ##slackware 2014-09-17
 [1144] #geek
<ananke> yet another day in ##slackware, dedicated to bitching about systemd
<eviljames> ananke: yeah, and it's not even our problem! (yet...)
<pi31415> which is worse, griping about systemd, or griping about griping about systemd?
<pink_mist> stop griping about griping about griping about systemd, pi31415
     ##slackware 2014-08-19
 [1143] #geek
<ProbablyAndy> its sad when i realize there aren't any browsers I actually like - I just use the one that pisses me off the least
<ttkp> same here, ProbablyAndy :-(
<shonudo> same
<wukong> it's true
     ##slackware 2014-08-08
 [1142] #geek
<eviljames> Linus Torvalds once said: "If Microsoft ever does applications for Linux, that means I've won."
<eviljames> Skype, Office for Android.... pretty clear that Linus won.
     ##slackware 2014-08-05
 [1141] #geek
<Tekk_> holy shit
<Tekk_> pulseaudio actually fixes a problem
<Tekk_> if I install pulse and have it running
<Tekk_> *BUT DON'T USE IT*
<Tekk_> it fixes my sound volume problem
<eviljames> wat
<eviljames> This is the first problem that Pulse has fixed instead of caused, EVER.
     ##slackware 2014-08-05
 [1140] #geek
We're approaching a future where the only jobs that don't require computer science skills will be in entertainment or javascript development
     -- Jackson Harper / @jacksonh, https://twitter.com/jacksonh/status/494938289527214080
 [1139] #geek
<pi31415> i know the difference between ping and pong, black and white, right and wrong
<pi31415> when you throw a ping in the fire, just like words on a wire, you'd think it's hot but it's not, it's cold, and wanders not lost until it's old
     ##slackware, 2014-07-31
 [1138] #politics
<phone> socialism for all on all levels, doncha know?
<phone> wait. why is the world taking away my stuff
     #atbot, 2014-07-25
 [1137] #politics
"The most dangerous man, to any government, is the man who is able to think things out for himself.  Almost inevitably, he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, and intolerable."
     -- H. L. Mencken
 [1136] #militaria
METT-TSL:  Mission, Enemy, Terrain, Troops and fire support, Time, Space, Logistics.  IOW, the factors that effect tactical decision making.  The .mil loves acronyms.
     -- EchoFiveMike, 2014-07-15
 [1135] #wtf
<joel> apparently the correct answer to "can you take a pig on the tube?" is not "duh, they're called british transport police"
     #perl, 2014-07-14
 [1134] #politics
"All governments abuse power.  Every one of them.  It's the duty of citizens to resist those abuses."
     -- Leonard Boudin
 [1133] #geek
<anno> how fast is dog shit?
<tm604> several orders of magnitude faster than eclipse, I'd guess
     #perl, 2014-07-08
 [1132] #politics
"It is a greater thing to be a good citizen than to be a good Republican or a good Democrat."
     -- Gifford Pinchot
 [1131] #geek
<zap> Give me libiberty or give me statically linked binaries!
     #bitmines, 2014-07-03
 [1130] #wtf
"All of my life, California has had only two seasons: "green" and "brown".  Now, we still have two seasons, but they are "brown" and "ablaze".
     -- Steph Marr, 2014-07-01
 [1129] #geek
<byteframe> Firefox is still my browser of choice, but i think they are in bed with the dram manufacturers.
     ##slackware, 2014-07-01
 [1128] #wtf
<fuz> why would you learn Esperanto? doesn't Klingon have a bigger base of native speakers?
     #atbot, 2014-06-25
 [1127] #sports
<rob0> So, the English national football team visited an orphanage today. "It was tragic to see the look of hopelessness and despair in their eyes," said one of the orphans.
     ##slackware, 2014-06-13
 [1126] #politics
"About the Declaration there is a finality that is exceedingly restful. It is often asserted that the world has made a great deal of progress since 1776, that we have had new thoughts and new experiences which have given us a great advance over the people of that day, and that we may therefore very well discard their conclusions for something more modern. But that reasoning can not be applied to this great charter. If all men are created equal, that is final. If they are endowed with inalienable rights, that is final. If governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed, that is final. No advance, no progress can be made beyond these propositions. If anyone wishes to deny their truth or their soundness, the only direction in which he can proceed historically is not forward, but backward toward the time when there was no equality, no rights of the individual, no rule of the people. Those who wish to proceed in that direction can not lay claim to progress. They are reactionary. Their ideas are not more modern, but more ancient, than those of the Revolutionary fathers."
     Calvin Coolidge.
 [1125] #geek
<mohawk> wow, rebooting win7 can take a long time
<ttk> yeah, but you only reboot once a year or so, so it doesn't much matter, right?
<mohawk> ha ha
     #perl, 2014-06-11
 [1124] #geek
<gage> there was interesting discussion today at work about python and monotonic clocks
<gage> it does the wrong thing when ntp steps, which breaks our traffic shifter
<gage> apparently it's been a known problem for 7 years
<phone> python has been a known problem for *way* more than 7 years.
     #atbot, 2014-06-04
 [1123] #politics
<qq> oh dear. one of the things the FBI says show Ryan Chamberlain is/was a terrorist is that he "admitted that he was aware of the Tor network"
<dhar> you mean the Tor network that the US Naval Research Laboratory created?  is the FBI saying that the US military is a terrorist organization, now? ;-)
<qq> haha yes!
<qq> It was ok when the navy created it. It's only Terr'ism when Bad People use it.
     #atbot, 2014-06-03
 [1122] #wtf
<geekH> whoops i got in trouble with hr
<geekH> we're moving to a new office but not everyone's moving the first few months
<geekH> so about 70% of people are going and my team and a few other are staying behind
<geekH> and i said "on monday, it's going to be like the rapture, except with less sentimental bullshit"
     #sv2600, 2014-06-02
 [1121] #geek
<lns> The funny thing is, I installed Linux on my mom's computer, my mom-in-law's computer (and laptop), ... and neither one EVER calls to ask questions.  It just works.  Whereas before with Windows they called at at least weekly.
     #nblug, 2014-05-23
 [1120] #geek
<qq> wow, an ubuntu 12.04 system just upgraded to 14.04 without breaking anything
<gage> witchcraft!
<kpuc> can you break what is already broken?
<ttk> kpuc++
<kpuc> it's a cheap shot, but those i can reach
     #atbot, 2014-05-22
 [1119] #politics
It worries me that people think fascism arrives in a fancy uniform worn by grotesque monsters as seen in Hollywood's Nazi movies.  Fascism shows up as your friend.  It will restore your pride, protect your home, give you a job, clean up the neighborhood, clean out the corruption, and remove everything you feel is less than ideal.  It doesn't come right out saying, "Our agenda is police militarization, indefinite detention, mass surveillance, deportations, war, and persecution."
 [1118] #wtf
<Alan_Hicks> AM radio anyone can send and receive on provided you're under 4W.
<skyroveRR> So uh.. what's 4W?
<rob0> four watts power
<skyroveRR> To power a bulb or something?
* skyroveRR does not know any bulb that can light up under 4W...
<zone_twelve> 4W into antenna
<wukong> in radio, that would be transmit power
<skyroveRR> Uh.... this is confusing, why do you need 4W for an antenna? First off, what kind of antenna?
<skyroveRR> And second, what's an antenna got to do with CB?
     ##slackware, 2014-05-12
 [1117] #fail
<Deke> what in the actual holy fuck...
<Deke> So i finally had someone at Citi bank tell me why I havent been able to login to my CC account in a month
<Deke> "we no longer allow special characters in a passwd. do you have any?"
<Deke> "uhh...what is a special character?"
<Deke> "anything that isnt A-Z or 0-9"
     #bitmines, 2014-05-05
 [1116] #wtf
<uncle_ben> i'm trying to connect remotely but keep getting a "connection timed out" error.
<mancha> your nickname is offensive
     #openssl, 2014-05-02
 [1115] #wtf
<kpuc> ... i have utterly forgotten the name of the comic
<ttk> which comic?
<kpuc> the one, uhm
<kpuc> with the cum shots everywhere
<ttk> sexylosers?
<ttk> or flemcomics?
<kpuc> yeah
<kpuc> flem
<kpuc> mmm, flemcomics
<ttk> dunno which is worse, that "cum shots everywhere" was enough for me to name a comic, or that I was able to name two
     #atbot, 2014-05-02
 [1114] #geek
<cykros> wow.. seeing news about a "new" OS for security.. got excited, realized it was just tails.. which has been around for at least 3-4 years.
<cykros> to be fair, it is only now version 1.0.
<c0rky> its been under heavy development by the NSA since the revelations
     ##slackware, 2014-05-01
 [1113] #geek
<ttk> Something I've noticed about #python: there's a strong contingent of Linux users, but most python programmers there seem to develop it under Windows.  This is somewhat in contrast with #perl, where they're mostly *nix users of some flavor.
<ttk> It makes me wonder if there's an easy way to find out how developers in various languages slot in by platform.
<kpuc> hmm, if your os of choice is broken by design, why not your language?
     #atbot, 2014-04-29
 [1112] #geek
<qq> capistrano was awesome here, it actually used up all the inodes on a disk once,
<qq> the dev guy who was using it had never heard of an inode so it was really funny
     #atbot, 2014-04-25
 [1111] #geek
<doug> someone in management is proposing that the people who request a feature attach an anticipated revenue figure to it
<doug> and those that do the work put a cost figure on it
<doug> and the difference is some kinda value metric for work done
<doug> i keep thinking i've heard this before, but i dunno from where
<perigrin> I think it was a dilbert series
     #perl, 2014-04-25
 [1110] #geek
<lns> Windows ME and Vista are in the same dark dungeon together, waiting to die a slow, painful starvation-based death
<lns> Microsoft BOB is there to give them tea and crumpets
     #nblug, 2014-04-22
 [1109] #geek
<ttk> it drives me up the wall when management hears "still needs debugging" and interprets it as "something we're okay to ship"
<ttk> (or deploy into production)
<moof> it compiles! ship it!
<qq> "still needs debugging" seems more like "it's broken" than "it's ready to ship"
<qq> but then i still retain some higher cortical function
     #atbot, 2014-04-15
 [1108] #politics
In a coat of gold or a coat of red,
a lion still has claws,
And mine are long and sharp, my lord,
as long and sharp as yours.
 [1107] #geek
<fuz> good lord, the child has discovered Google Plus.
<fuz> on the bright side there's no one for him to cause trouble with.
     #atbot, 2014-03-05
 [1106] #geek
<hobbs> "For example, you can wrap the text-changed event of a TextField control in Java as an asynchronous data stream using the following delicious token salad:"
<hobbs> (you do not want to see the salad)
* nlogn braces himself
<hobbs> heh
<hobbs> Observable<string> TextChanges(JTextField tf){
<hobbs>  return new ObservableBase<string>(){
<hobbs>    Closable subscribe(Observer<string> o){
<hobbs>      DocumentListener l = new DocumentListener(){
<hobbs>        void changedUpdate(DocumentEvent e {
<hobbs>          o.OnNext(tf.getText());};
<hobbs>        tf.addDocumentListener (l);
<hobbs>        return new Closable() {
<hobbs>          void close(){tf.removeDocumentListener(l);}}}}}
<nlogn> damn man I thought you were kidding
<nlogn> now I have to barf
<ttk> requesting permission to quote, hobbs :-D
<hobbs> ttk: sure. It's from http://queue.acm.org/detail.cfm?id=2169076
<hobbs> I like how he piles up all of the closing braces. He's like "this isn't worth another 5 lines."
     #perl, 2014-03-14
 [1105] #geek
<six> A Mac user can naturally progress into a Unix user.  When you're a Windows user...there's nowhere to go
<yert> sure there is
<yert> padded cells
     #bitmines, 2014-03-04
 [1104] #profound
I've started skimming Quora.com every so often... (and in another one of those many "small world" incidents that seem to rule my life, I ran across an old HS classmate that way). Today, there was a question that asked what it feels like to be old. There was a great answer from a guy who appears to have lived an amazingly rich life. He said:
"From time to time something reminds you of the past.
You remember things.
Mostly nice things.
There is a tendency to reminisce, meander, and ramble when talking and writing about the past, and I wonder if anyone is listening, reading, or caring much.
But _that_ is not feeling old, it's more like wondering if there isn't something better I could be doing.
There is of course, but I can't be bothered. _That's it._
When you get old you feel you can't be bothered because most things don't matter that much.
Or not as much as they used to.
Or not as much as they ever should have done.
I just wish I had known that then when I was younger."
And that very much rings true for me. Maybe not "I can't be bothered", but ... I feel like I have become more stoic as I have grown older. It's not that I don't feel passion, it's that the swings of passion doesn't rule me like they did when I was younger. It's not that don't feel insecurity, insecurity just doesn't have as much sway over me.
Life has changed from a sprint to a marathon... and my emotions no longer sprint from place to place. Instead, they pace themselves ... allowing me to find the right-fit response without the emotionally exhausting angst and "fits" (not exactly the right word, I wasn't prone to fits, but ... the overly emotional reactions is what I mean). Many of the things we think require emotional sprinting, in my experience, not only don't require an emotional sprint, they are better served by a more calm response.
It's not that I can't be bothered to react, it's that my reactions are much more measured.
     John Rudd, 2014-02-26
 [1103] #geek
<robp> ttk: btw I installed slackware on a laptop.  It's boring and uninteresting
<robp> which is exactly what I want from a linux distribution
     #sv2600, 2014-02-18
 [1102] #geek
One big point about replacing sysvinit with systemd is to take away the knowledge advantage oldtimers have on youngsters.
     atacama, https://cms.arstechnica.com/civis/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=1222987
 [1101] #geek
<qq> i let ubuntu upgrade my laptop from 12.10 to 13.10
<qq> it finished, with the dpkg system in a consistent state
<qq> no errors
<qq> all characters now display as an empty square
<qq> all characters. in everything, except text console.
<qq> oh dear it's really fucked up now
<qq> i rebooted and now fonts came back but it's trying to run xfce and unity at the same time
     #atbot, 2014-02-13
 [1100] #geek
<mtardif> It seems some of our customers are still relying on Dynamic Ethernet Relay Protocol
<mtardif> it really should be deprecated
     #noc, 2014-02-12
 [1099] #geek
<gage> i recently learned that we have a node.js app here in the backend, no idea why
<gage> it converts wikitext to html and back
<kpuc> because a few lines of perl would be insane
<ttk> between WikiText::HTML and Mojo, that might be *one* line of perl.
<gage> my strategy to recruit ttk is just to tell him stuff like this
     #atbot, 2014-02-11
 [1098] #wtf
<hawks> i just learned the gross side of kittens
<hawks> someone here had a cat that disappeared for a week and came back... WITH KITTENS
<hawks> and then this weekend the house started smelling
     #sv2600, 2014-02-10
 [1097] #politics
<ttkay> He'd still look better on fire, of course.
<Deke> heck, Im pretty much willing to state than any national level poltician has that quality
     #bitmines, 2014-01-29
 [1096] #geek
<midi> the number of people who insist on doing unsane things is sad.  people keep deploying ubuntu servers.  and as geoff and I
<midi> discussed last night, people keep trying to develop their own security stacks.
<pef> "i'm smart!  i can do this better if i limit it to exactly what i need!"
<pef> "encryption is hard.  if i tack on 'fnord' to everything and use rot13, that should be good enough"
<midi> I guess the quandary is that it takes experience to understand that smarts and experience are two separate things.
     #bitmines, 2014-01-28
 [1095] #profound
There is an invisible world connected at the handle to every tool.  Use the tool as it is intended, and it fits you to the mold of all who do the same; disconnect the tool from that world, and you can set out to chart others.
     -- Hunter/Gatherer
 [1094] #profound
<Deke> 6: i've long said that Deng Xiaoping should be celebrated for being the guy who's brought more people out of abject poverty than anyone ever
<Deke> but Bill is 100% right...
<geoffk> although if you want the person who *reduced* the number of people in abject poverty the most, I think it's between Mao and Stalin
     #bitmines, 2014-01-24
 [1093] #politics
<zg> "I'm going to work with Congress to reform the NSA." - Barack Obama, recent speech about 'reforming' the NSA
<zg> So, what you really mean is no reform.
     #nblug, 2014-01-24
 [1092] #geek
<iNoah> my practical introduction to python was trying to make changes to Mailman
<iNoah> and I gotta say, I learned to like python but was not impressed by mailman's design.
<iNoah> which only reinforced my conviction that pretty indentation is the most trivial of programming problems.
     #atbot, 2014-01-21
 [1091] #wtf
<qq> i think we could solve this whole sportsball problem by letting
<qq> each team have their own ball, instead of having just one and
<qq> making them fight over it
     #atbot, 2014-01-19
 [1090] #geek
<ttk> javascript humor: https://twitter.com/nathandotz/status/423223854220062720
<fuz> most of javascript is humor
<fuz> > [5, 10, 1, 7].sort()
<fuz> [ 1, 10, 5, 7 ]
     #atbot, 2014-01-17
 [1089] #politics
<ttk> omg .. googling around for an answer to fuz's question took me to freerepublic.com, and I failed to avert my eyes quickly enough
<ttk> http://www.freerepublic.com/tag/homosexualagenda/index?tab=articles
<ttk> "only 47 percent of black male students earn a high school diploma on time. Ironically, this report came out shortly after Judge Vaughn Walker
<ttk> ruled regarding Proposition 8 in California. If the statements on which Judge Walker based his ruling are "facts," how do we explain what is
<ttk> happening educationally to boys in the black community where a large majority are growing up without fathers?"
<kpuc> wat
<qq> oh dear
<fuz> haha
<fuz> "Look! Here's Chewbacca. He doesn't make any sense! If Chewbacca does not make sense, segregation must have happened for a good reason."
<ttk> fuz++
     #atbot, 2014-01-14
 [1088] #geek
<Alaric> To be the best possible search engine, an engine needs to scan and index as much as possible of the entire Internet and be able to extract
<Alaric> relevant metadata from it quickly in response to perhaps-poorly-specified queries.
<Alaric> On the other hand, the better it does that, the better a panopticon it has the potential to be.
<Alaric> Highly effective search engines are like fire.  They can be a good servant, or a terrible master.
     #bitmines, 2014-01-13
 [1087] #geek
<Alaric> Through the magic of cloud computing, you too can get 8MB/s transfer rates between servers in the same cluster!
     #bitmines, 2013-12-17
 [1086] #politics
Don't Steal, Spy, Kidnap, Torture, or Murder
The Government Hates Competition
 [1085] #geek
<robp> I was thinking it would be fun to do an irc to email bridge just for the practice of gluing things to other things
<robp> because if theres one things every enterprise needs it's people to glue things together that don't even make sense
<robp> "we need you to take in csv files from gopher locations and output them as SGML over HTTP/1.0"
<robp> "The rationale section of this design document just says SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP for three paragraphs"
     #sv2600, 2013-11-22
 [1084] #geek
<ttkay> I see HashFast has figured out an easier way to turn bitcoin into profit
<dwangoAC> As with any gold rush, it's the people selling the pickaxes making the most money.
     #nblug, 2013-11-22
 [1083] #wtf
<ttkay> I'd still feel bad for polluting the environment unless most of our power came from breeder-nukes.
<Deke> check your privlidge. lgbt-nukes are better
     #bitmines, 2013-11-13
 [1082] #geek
<mordy> i'm discovering java isn't that bad, too
<cxreg> that's funny.  java programmers are discovering perl isn't that bad
<cxreg> they just call it scala
     #perl, 2013-11-11
 [1081] #politics
Capitalism without any form of altruism or wealth distribution [..] leads to Socialism.  Marx wrote his works in response to what he saw as exploitation of workers.  It became obsolete (and Communism did not take off) because Capitalism, at least in terms of the period 1850-1950 reformed itself, became fairer, with more wealth distributed to workers.  When that happened, Communism looked irrelevant.
     Stuart Galbraith, 2013-10-31
 [1080] #geek
<geoffk> "(1) you can't fool an honest man but (2) that's OK because you can't find one either."  - FINRA report
     #bitmines, 2013-09-12
 [1079] #geek
<gage> i just figured out how to use pivotal tracker without my boss noticing, so i finally make issues for everything on my TODO.
<ttk> what's your boss' beef with PivotalTracker?
<gage> his problem is that he wants to give me advice
<qq> that's a terrible problem.
     #atbot, 2013-09-06
 [1078] #geek
"There are two approaches to the data analysis problem.  One is that of the engineer and the other is that of the mathematician.
In the first method, the engineer makes use of his love for plotting data and exercising his personal opinion as to the best fit.  This is done by use of Equation (2.4).  He plots the logarithm of the average velocity between a pair of timing points versus the location of the midpoint of the interval.  He then draws a straight line through the points and computes the drag coefficient from its slope.
The mathematician displays his characteristic fear of plotted data and human decision making.  He fits his time-position data by a cubic least squares process.
Fortunately, the results of the two methods are practically identical."
     Report Number 1216, "Free Flight Motion of Symmetric Missiles", Ballistic Research Laboratories, 1963, pp 10-11
 [1077] #wtf
<Deke> jury sentenced Nidal Hasan to death today
<Deke> the military hasnt actually executed anyone since 1961, tho
<Deke> come on, Army...Texas is making you guys look like a buncha pussies
<pef> they have lots of guns and tanks and things, how hard could it possibly be ?
<Deke> sure, but the army has those, too
     #bitmines, 2013-08-28
 [1076] #geek
<six> no one ever got fired for buying cisco
<midi> not yet.
<midi> but cisco's working on that.
     #bitmines, 2013-08-21
 [1075] #geek
<mhm> I hope that the people who work  only on cloud computing call themselves "The Weathermen"
<jlk> Awesome idea, though I suppose it would confuse the average person
<bur> Anything confuses the average person
     #tech, 2013-08-20
 [1074] #geek
<cfedde> set up a server that always returns the best answer.
<ttk> fsdo "best"
<cfedde> add up all the factors, divide by their count, multiply by zero, then add in the correct result.
     #perl, 2013-08-13
 [1073] #geek
<lns> tables are ancient, therefore compatible
     #nblug, 2013-08-12
 [1072] #geek
<qq> heh my poor coworker is about to stab his own eye out talking to a new employee who just completely does not understand any portion of the concept of deploying software.
<qq> hahaha i just actually heard the new guy use the exact phrase "but it works on my laptop"
<qq> "ok so how did you test it?" "test?" "yeah, i mean, how do you know it will work in production?" "what do you mean?"
<qq> "so where did you get this jar file?" "right here" "what do you mean right here?" "it's on the desktop right there"
<qq> i am afraid i may spit coffee soon
     #atbot, 2013-07-23
 [1071] #geek
<TorgoX> When Tim Berners Lee says he and [name forgotten] were presenting a "we have an idea for a WORLD-WIDE WEB!" talk to other people at CERN etc, and he said the language that would have the links to things would be "HTML", and showed some of it, and people saw that it was SGML, people's responses were just short of getting up and throwing their chairs at him.
     IRC conversation, 2013-07-11
 [1070] #geek
<ttk> if you slog through dice's online "create a resume!", recruiters will beat a path to your door.
<mst> there are few sentences in which I consider 'beat' and 'recruiter' to be a good match, and that isn't one of them ;)
     IRC conversation, 2013-07-05
 [1069] #geek
<popl> Who need IRL when you have IRC?
     IRC conversation, 2013-06-28
 [1068] #geek
<qq> ubuntu's bug #2 should be "we have users"
<qq> they're working hard to fix that one, though
     #atbot, 2013-06-27
 [1067] #geek
A mother addressing her family:
"We have guests coming over for dinner this evening. We want to have a pleasant conversation at the dinner table so remember, no discussing politics, religion, or systemd."
     Tracy Tiger, http://www.linuxquestions.org/questions/slackware-14/slackware-is-systemd-inevitable-4175460337, 2013-06-03
 [1066] #geek
<ether> writing map grep sort map grep grep  makes me feel all warm inside
<preaction> that's internal bleeding. see a doctor
     IRC #perl conversation, 2013-04-11
 [1065] #wtf
<Deke> so she just sent a pic with it up on the truck being hauled away
<six> I often wonder what people THINK is going to happen when they do things like that
<six> maybe if I do something stupid and illegal and challenge authority someone will give me a puppy?
<Deke> six: that would be a good way to empty out the animal shelters
     #bitmines, 2013-04-10
 [1064] #militaria
Ask a Russian engineer to design you a shoe, and he'll give you something that looks like the box the shoe came in.  Ask him to design something that will slaughter Germans, and he turns into Thomas fucking Edison.
     Bobby Shaftoe, from Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon
 [1063] #geek
<manoj> there was an ftp site that held old netscape versions, let's see
<manoj> hmmm doesn't seem up, shockingly enough
<manoj> I tried hitting archive.netscape.com in a browser just in case, and it told me that Kate Moss had a see-through dress
<manoj> So I think that's not it
     #atbot, 2013-03-21
 [1062] #geek
<qq> i do know that they're almost certainly misusing it here
<qq> if you gave them a hammer they'd try to fry an egg on it
     #atbot, 2013-02-27
 [1061] #profound
"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats."
     H.L. Mencken
 [1060] #politics
"Malo periculosam libertatem quam quietam servitutem."
     (Better a dangerous liberty than a safe servitude)
 [1059] #politics
"The rifle itself has no moral stature, since it has no will of its own. Naturally, it may be used by evil men for evil purposes, but there are more good men than evil, and while the latter cannot be persuaded to the path of righteousness by propaganda, they can certainly be corrected by good men with rifles."
     Jeff Cooper, Art of the Rifle
 [1058] #geek
<mordy> so the end user is basically this layer around your software which needs to have documentation and an API, and a clear path to fixing bugs
<mordy> and the end user will always be pissed off/blocked if those things are lacking
     IRC #perl conversation, 2012-12-03
 [1057] #geek
<fuz> "A Foolish Consistency is the Hobgoblin of Little Minds" should be "A Foolish Consistency is the Whole Point Of Python"
     #atbot, 2012-11-19
 [1056] #geek
<qq> All of node.js is divided into three parts, of which the first is occupied by stupidity, the second by idiocy, and the third by those who are in their own language are called Bros, and in our own, Cretins.
     #atbot, 2012-09-24
 [1055] #geek
<dr.bez> today, i get to create a windows installer.
<qq> ha ha *points*
<roens> haha
<dr.bez> hopefully the world-ending asteroid can land somewhere in the hillsboro area in the next 24 hours, so that i don't actually have to complete this thing
     #atbot, 2012-08-14
 [1054] #geek
<weeblewobble> would you call node.js a hipster 'framework'?
<f0rk> no, I've heard of it.
     IRC #perl conversation, 2012-05-25
 [1053] #geek
<rob> Norton or Symantec or whatever it was was the first thing I nuked on that laptop.
<rob> It whined all the way down and told me the internet would rape me and my whole family if I uninstalled it.
<rob> I think right at the end it even said something anti-semitic.
     Rob, 2011-08-08
 [1052] #geek
<dr.bez> twitter is a vast open sewer on which, on some perpetually stained ledge, pretty plants grow in the fertile soil
     #atbot, 2011-01-31
 [1051] #geek
<Eeyore> enterprise infrastructure: a warp drive that only stays running with constant tinkering by a crazed Scottish engineer, holodecks that randomly kill people, transporters that turn a stray ensign into goo every other week, and a ship that regularly gets shaken up in combat yet doesn't have a single seat belt.
     #atbot, 2010-10-25
 [1050] #geek
those who forget Usenet are doomed to try to recreate it...badly
 [1049] #wtf
<roens> that's how greed works: against the greedy
     #atbot, 2010-06-23
 [1048] #politics
Free election of masters does not abolish the masters or the slaves.
     Herbert Marcuse, _One-Dimensional Man_
 [1047] #wtf
<ttkay> when it comes to clue, the 80/20 rule seems more like 99/1.
<midi> 99 percent of the agents have 1% of the clue, and the other 1 percent of agents have the other 1% of the clue?
     #bitmines, 2010-01-20
 [1046] #wtf
<dr.jd> right now it's about as flexible as somebody who died of botulism in antarctica
     #atbot, 2009-09-04
 [1045] #wtf
<dr.pox> "family size" box of condoms == empty
     #bitmines, 2009-07-20
 [1044] #profound
It is not what they take away from you that counts -- it's what you do with what you have left.
     Hubert H. Humphrey
 [1043] #geek
<qq> i'm going to go eat dinner and hopefully when i get home, the cats will have ported this filesystem code to lpc2106
     The amazing Volpe, 2009-04-28
 [1042] #politics
<fuz> I do love this country when it's not acting like a violent schizophrenic in a bar
     #atbot, 2009-04-15
 [1041] #politics
<jwb> i gather from the helicopter noise that bart is still invading palestine
<dr.siva> israel out of palestine, feinstein out of california!
     #atbot, 2009-01-27
 [1040] #politics
<ren> I wanna hear obama say "fuck". because it probably sounds inspirational coming out of his mouth
     #atbot, 2008-11-05
 [1039] #politics
Congress should continue paying for [public media] because if they don't, the taxpayers will end up paying for it.
     Richard Guess of Charleston, http://taxingtennessee.blogspot.com/2008/06/congress-should-pay-otherwise-taxpayers.html
 [1038] #geek
<qq> Vista is probably slow because it has to check the DRM status of every bit transferred to or from the disk against an XML table provided by the RIAA
     #atbot, 2008-06-11
 [1037] #wtf
Someone was trying to tell me that the cost of living in london is really expensive, and that I might get sticker shock; I had to point out that I've been living in Tokyo for the past two years.
     Moof, 2009-11-11
 [1036] #militaria
<colin> India should have known that Arjun was going to have problems; after all, they named it after a reluctant chariot archer who needed Shiva to convince him to fight. :)
     #bitmines, 2007-12-22
 [1035] #geek
<qq> if phpmyadmin were a children's toy, which is essentially is, it would be from china and covered in deadly lead paint
     #atbot, 2007-11-27
 [1034] #politics
In a republic, who is 'The Country'?  Is it the government which is for the moment in the saddle?  Why, the government is merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who is not.  Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.  Who, then, is 'The Country'?  Is it the newspaper?  Is it the pulpit?  Why, these are mere parts of the country, not the whole of it; they have not command.  They have only their little share in the command.
In a monarchy, the king and his family are a country; in a republic, it is the common voice of the people.  Each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak.  It is a solemn and weighty responsibility, and not lightly to be flung aside at the bullying of pulpit, press, government, or the empty catchphrases of politicians.  Each must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, and which course is patriotic and which is not.
You cannot shirk this and be a man.  To decide it against your convictions is to be an unqualified and inexcusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country.  Let men label you as they may.  If you alone of all the nation shall decide one way, and that way be the right way according to your convictions, you have done your duty by yourself and by your country.  Hold up your head.  You have nothing to be ashamed of.
     Oscar Wilde
 [1033] #geek
<fuz> holy fucking shit.
<fuz> I have just encountered my first PL/SQL funcitons that generate HTML.
<fuz> it's like finding a unicorn! only sitting in a pool of its own urine hunched over a crackpipe.
     #atbot, 2007-08-13
 [1032] #profound
The only justification for our concepts and systems of concepts is that they serve to represent the complex of our experiences; beyond this they have not legitimacy.
     Albert Einstein
 [1031] #geek
<manoj> facebook is trying to be the new hip company to be at
<gps> so is *
<gps> where * matches everything except archive.org
     #atbot, 2007-07-10
 [1030] #politics
The health of a democratic society may be measured by the quality of functions performed by private citizens.
     Alexis de Tocqueville
 [1029] #wtf
fie on you, ttk...*1* freakin' quote?  you suck
 [1028] #politics
<pef> You can have my bullets when you pry 'em out of your gaping wounds.
     #bitmines, 2007-05-30
 [1027] #wtf
He'd pick up an eskimo woman giving birth in a outhouse, and feel ok with that.
     Tangra, 2007-04-30
 [1026] #politics
It takes a lot of degeneration before a country falls into dictatorship, but we should avoid these ends by avoiding these beginnings.
     Sandra Day O'Connor
 [1025] #wtf
Excrement happens -- in spurts!
 [1024] #wtf
     luuZ, the unhappy moderation bot.
 [1023] #wtf
They had music, art and fashion
They had dinosauric passion
And I'm sure they'd be enraged and mortified
That when they're mentioned today
It is only to say
Their brains were small and they died.
     Mark Graham, http://www.mudcat.org/@displaysong.cfm?SongID=7212
 [1022] #profound
Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe.  The premise is wrong, but the navigation works.  An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
     Kelvin Throop III
 [1021] #militaria
I started with thirty-nine tanks. After thirty-eight days of aerial attacks, I had thirty-two [tanks], but in less then twenty minutes against M1A1 [Abrams], I had zero.
     Captured Iraqi battalion commander, 1991
 [1020] #politics
Experience proves the inefficacy of a bill of rights on those occasions when its control is most needed.  Repeated violations of these parchment barriers have been committed by overbearing majorities in every State [..] Wherever the real power in a Government lies, there is the danger of oppression.  In our Governments the real power lies in the majority of the Community, and the invasion of private rights is chiefly to be apprehended, not from acts of Government contrary to the sense of its constituents, but from acts in which the Government is the mere instrument of the major number of the Constituents.
     James Madison, Framer of the Constitution of the United States, in a letter to Thomas Jefferson regarding the proposal of a Bill of Rights.
 [1019] #wtf
It isn't the size of the bladder that matters; it's the size of the cup.
     cobalt ciar
 [1018] #geek
No yam node lasts forever.  No yam node remains gone forever.  It is a forest that grows, replenishes, burns, and regrows anew, and has stinky fungus growing on a lot of it, and animals that shit everywhere, and people who leave trash, and now that I think about it maybe it should be clearcut, drilled for oil, and then paved over.
     The Elder Dan
 [1017] #geek
Randomising letters in the middle of words [has] little or no effect on the ability of skilled readers to understand the text.  This is easy to denmtrasote.  In a pubiltacion of New Scnieitst you could ramdinose all the letetrs, keipeng the first two and last two the same, and reibadailty would hadrly be aftcfeed.  My ansaylis did not come to much beucase the thoery at the time was for shape and senqeuce retigcionon.  Saberi's work sugsegts we may have some pofrweul palrlael prsooscers at work.  The resaon for this is suerly that idnetiyfing coentnt by paarllel prseocsing speeds up regnicoiton.  We only need the first and last two letetrs to spot chganes in meniang.
     Excerpt from a recent article on cognition [Note: seems easier to read the *faster* I try to read it. -- TTK]
 [1016] #geek
If they hold me without charge, I'll be neutralized!  Aieee!
 [1015] #wtf
You just aren't anybody until you've been attacked by the Scientologists!
     cobalt ciar
 [1014] #politics
When I was in college, there was an active Objectivist club and an active socialist club.  The Objectivist club gave away their materials; the socialist club sold theirs.
     Kyle Haight
 [1013] #geek
For a succesful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled.
     Richard P. Feynman
 [1012] #wtf
Work!  And be well!
     cobalt ciar
 [1011] #geek
Some day a computer intelligence will arrise that is capable of being aware of the entirety of human thought and expression stored on the web.. and it will be completely useless because no one will be able to get it to stop laughing.
     John L Williams
 [1010] #wtf
wow. are you bi-everything, or just bisexual and bipolar?
     Jeff Bean
 [1009] #geek
<fleagirl> i suppose it's not nice to pick on someone for being dumb.
<quark> i got picked on for being smart.  fair game. :)
     #scruz, 2001-05-30
 [1008] #wtf
I learned that love is no excuse for bacteria.
 [1007] #wtf
Just give up.  Use windows.  Use explorer.  Buy an SUV for your daily commute.  Shop at Fry's.  Use PacBell DSL.  Listen to top 40.  It'll all just be so much easier.  YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED!
 [1006] #geek
Language and OS research lives on in MUDs, of all places.  Here are OO languages with built-in object permanence, sometimes distributed across multiple hosts, with in-process task schedulers and other OS like features, in use on a daily basis, not mouldering in the back issues of some journal.  For some of the programmers using these systems, the MUD code is the only language they know.  Casual throw-away language attempts by hacker students have become far more sophisticated since I left school.
     'Rich', message-id <8ev757$k86@darkstar.ucsc.edu>
 [1005] #profound
There are two kinds of fools -- those who never climb Mt. Fuji, and those who climb it twice.
     Old Japanese proverb
 [1004] #geek
No memory wall?  Ah, excuse me, but the impact may depend on the angle of your trajectory.
     Achim Gratz, Message-ID <caevbvblm.fsf@ite127.inf.tu-dresden.de>
 [1003] #wtf
This is why people rule the world and birds hafta be content to just poop on people sometimes.
 [1002] #wtf
It's not an org chart, it's a pegboard -- with lots of square holes.
     Zippy the Wonderslug
 [1001] #profound
The camera will never be a threat to the brush and the palette until such time as photographs are allowed to be taken in heaven or hell.
     Edvard Munch
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