Porkusbot is a multi-function ICB robot. It can perform the following tasks:
Stock price lookups
/m the bot a stock ticker symbol, and it will tell you current stock market information (courtesy of Yahoo! Finance).
  Example:   /m pk aapl
Dictionary definitions
/m the bot "define foo", and it will try to look up the definition of "foo" for you (courtesy of Merriam-Webster).
  Example:   /m pk define robot
  Example:   /m pk define mitochondria
TinyURL lookup
/m the bot a web address, and it will give you back a tinyurl (courtesy of www.tinyurl.com).
  Example:   /m pk http://dearelena.wordpress.com/2006/02/24/two-religions/
Infobot-style truth caching
/m the bot "foo is blah blah blah" and it will store "blah blah blah" as the definition of term "foo". Quote the term if it contains spaces or quotes.
  Example:   /m pk freebsd is pretty cool
  Example:   /m pk "fight club" is a movie that came out in 1999
  Example:   /m pk 'the "question"' is to be or not to be
/m the bot "foo?" and it will tell you all definitions of "foo". Quote the term if it contains spaces or quote marks.
  Example:   /m pk freebsd?
  Example:   /m pk "fight club"?
  Example:   /m pk 'the "question"'?
/m the bot "what do you know?" and it will tell you all the terms for which it has definitions. /m it "what do you know about foo?" and it will tell you all the terms which contain "foo" anywhere in them. To reverse the sense of the search, prepend a "!" to the search term.
  Example:   /m pk what do you know?
  Example:   /m pk what do you know about bsd?
  Example:   /m pk what do you know about !rex?
encryptObot functionality
any public message containing an <encrypted> (or similar; see below) will be repeated by the bot with that tag replaced by a random madlib.
Other functions available:
<encrypted> <encrypt-ed> <encrypt:ed> <encrypt::ed> <encryptd> <linux> <qq> <qq2> <tld> <troll> <unit> <number> <numb.er> <number2> <number1> <werd1> <werd2>
Also, capitalizing the first letter of the tag will cause the first letter of the substituted madlib to be capitalized.  Capitalizing the entire tag will capitalize the entire madlib.
<ttkay> how much <werd1> would a <werd2> chuck if a <werd2> could chuck <werd1>
<encryptObot> <ttkay> how much stubby would a funkiness chuck if a funkiness could chuck stubby
<brak> also boo, moving 150+ 53lb. servers :(
<ttkay> <brak> also <qq>, moving <number>+ <number2>-<unit> servers
<encryptObot> <ttkay> <brak> also fucil, moving 746+ 95-scotschain servers
<ttkei> <Encrypted>
<encryptObot> <ttkei> Senior revonobbled correspondent
<ttkei> <ENCRYPTED>
Porkusbot also has some entertaning little functions, easily invoked:
  /m pk adminboat
  /m pk hateboat
  /m pk news
  /m pk wtf is wtf
  /m pk brainchef
Please email ttk2 (at) ciar (dot) org for questions or suggestions.
No, the Porkusbot source code is not available, sorry -- I've tried not to leave any security holes open, but would rather not make them easier for mischievous geeks to find :-)